How To Rebuild A Bad Reputation

Maybe you've made some bad choices, and the gossipers are now using them against you. Our reputation can be harmed when we make poor choices at work or school, or when we hurt others in our relationships.

Perhaps you struggle with the same relationship problems over and over, or you keep falling back into harmful or addictive behaviors. All that has an impact on your reputation.

Or maybe someone is making up lies about you, simply trying to hurt you.

Gossiping is such a popular way for people to spend their time, and tragically, the damage it can do spreads like a virus, until someone's reputation is seriously damaged.

You may feel like there's no chance to counteract the horrible things they are saying. It's going to take some time, but trust me, the good news is, you can rebuild your reputation and you can recover.

Here are some ideas on how to do it:

Ignore the Negative

It is very important to stop listening to all the bad things being said about you it will only bring you down and leave you feeling discouraged and hopeless.

That was Sarah's experience: I was driving myself crazy, listening or even trying to imagine what other people were saying about me. I had to stop. Then I could finally move on.

Plan out your Future Self

Figure out what kind of person you want to be, and then work on showing that to other people. You're well aware of how you don't want people to view you. How do you want them to view you? And why?

Find a Friend you can Confide in

Find one other person you can talk to who will remind you of the person you want to be and believes the best about you. If you can't find anyone, be that person for yourself.

Are your friends adding to, or taking away, from your reputation?

Devon commented: Until I could find a good friend, I had to keep telling myself over and over I am not the person they say I am. I'm a good person and though I'm not perfect, I'm working on getting better.

Be Honest about your Mistakes

If the source of the gossip is rooted in truth, let people (especially the people you care about the most) know what is true, but that you want to change. Then, over time, go about proving it to them!
Time will usually heal a lot of difficult situations.

A New Group of Friends?

Figure out if you need a new group of friends.  Are your friends adding value to, or taking away, from your reputation? If they are affecting your reputation in a negative way, you don't have to neglect, or start talking badly about them, but you might want to add some new people into your life people who are known to say encouraging and positive things.

Misty said: I found out from another friend that the people I was hanging out with were only hurting my reputation. I still care about them, but I need to be careful about what influence they might be having on me.

Show you care about Other People

Smile, and be nice to people you see. Take a genuine interest in what other people are doing or thinking. People always appreciate someone who seems to care. You'll find that people will be drawn to you, and less likely to talk badly about you.

Simply being nice to others gives you a chance to feel good about yourself, win new friends, and allow existing acquaintances to, eventually, reconsider their thoughts about you.

Make a little change

Sometimes changing something as simple as your hairstyle or your clothes will make a ton of difference in how people view you. Be creative, and don't be afraid to conform just a little bit to what seems to be the current looks.

Don't ever try to turn into something you are not!

Be patient

It takes time to build a good reputation. And even more time to rebuild a damaged one. In time, the truth about you will be known. A good reputation is hard to destroy. Who you are as a person speaks for itself. Besides, sometimes people go on with their own lives, and forget what was said about you.

David had this experience: I had people saying bad things about me. But after a while, people just kind of forgot about it. You just have to be patient and stay confident.

An additional tip to help you rebuild your reputation

If you're feeling like you need to rebuild your reputation, ask your close friends or family what they see to be your positive or negative traits. What do they think would be beneficial for you to adjust, in order to help improve your reputation?

No matter what you do to rebuild your reputation, don't ever try to turn into something you are not. Just remember to be true to yourself, and honest to your closest friends. As you seek to live the best life you can, you will be able to hold your head held high no matter what other people say about you.

Rebuild a bad reputation also by working on your self-esteem. It's possible to change what you and others think about you.

Dawson McAllister
Dawson McAllister, also known as America's youth pastor, was an author, radio host, speaker, and founder of TheHopeLine. McAllister attended Bethel College in Minnesota for undergraduate work where he graduated in 1968, began graduate studies at Talbot School of Theology in California, and received an honorary doctorate from Biola University.
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87 comments on “How To Rebuild A Bad Reputation”

  1. I, too am in a similar situation. I was in an emotional/verbal abusive marriage. I mean I was everything name except a child of God. My self esteem had dropped extremely low. After leaving him. I began to party, drink heavily, abuse drugs and also became very promiscuous. My reputation is ruined. But I know I am a great person. Guys don't take me serious. I just sometimes feel like I can't shake this phase I'm in. I feel like such a hoe. And I hate it. Because I was so good to my husband and he controlled me and abused me to the point I feel of no return. Slowly but surely I can shake this weakness and become a strong respectable woman. A virtuous woman that I know that I truly. Am. God bless

  2. About a week ago I was talking to a friend on skype and I said some really disturbing things that I shouldn't have said (I didn't mean any of it, it was all satire), and in that message I was talking about someone and he showed her and now her and all of her friends hate me and my "friends" don't let me forget about it and I haven't slept for 4 days now and it really makes me feel like sh*t because I'm having random people I've never talked to before come up to me and say things like "how could you say something like that it's so disgusting" and I've pretty much lost all of my friends. Any advice would make my year. (I apologize for the terrible grammar I'm rushing).

  3. A boy from my uni, who barely knows me, talks bad things after me overtime he sees me. I never show that I hear the things he says, but the words do hurt me. He is a friend of my ex boyfriend, and now I am engaged. Actually I do not want to tell it my boyfriend, as I am afraid of my past mistakes, that can harm my relationship. What can I do?

  4. I'm currently experiencing the worst that anyone could think of. I was on drugs (weed) and somehow it interfered with my studies. I dropped out last year but going back to school this year. WhIle I was ill from it I went telling people that it might have been a mental problem not knowing how to explain or describe the type of problem I have and ever since then people went around spreading the rumour that mentally I'm not okay. I've been attending sessions with my psychologist just to build my confidence as well as to rebuild my reputation because people be looking at me funny now that I'm headed back to school. I've been depressed for months but the last time I was admitted to th hospital due to treating this drug problem. I somehow recieved healing from God. I can feel it, however they don't see it that way. People have lost respect for me, some I would greet and they wouldn't greet back. Some would test me just to see if I'm okay and not pains me. Mentally and pysically I'm preparing myself for school. My psychologist said something about I suffer from what we call thought disorder (people constantly being on my mind). At first I would stumble in the streets but ever since I recieved healing they stumble when they see me. Not knowing whether to greet or not. What do I do?

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