Shame is Destroying Her Self-Worth: EP 28

She Feels like God Has Forgotten Her

Ova graduated from college last year with a degree in health care management. She’s been diligently searching for a job this past year and says, “no one will give me a chance.” During this adjustment time in her life and all the job searching, she started dating a guy, she had met in school. Their relationship got physical but then she found out he was married with 2 kids.

With all that’s been going on in her life, Ova feels she’s not living to her full potential. She feels as if God has forgotten her. This has led her to question God, depression, and many sleepless nights. Where does she go from here?

Peer to Peer: Messages of Hope for Ova 

We received some inspiring message of hope and encouragement for Ova from Hannah, Kelly, and Sabine.

Turn to God

Hannah wants Ova to know, she’s struggling with some of the same things. For the longest time, she struggled with self-hate and felt she wasn’t worthy of God’s love anymore. She received the conviction that the Lord wanted her to turn back to Him, even though she had messed up so many times. Hannah says, “God is not a God of shame, but a God of grace and mercy.” And shared the scripture, 2 Chronicles 7:14: “If my people, who are called by my name, will humble themselves and pray and seek my face and turn from their wicked ways, then I will hear from heaven, and I will forgive their sin and will heal their land.” Hannah tells Ova, “The 3 words I want you to remember are: Hear, Forgive, and Heal. God hears you Ova. He hears you, He hears your cry. He hears and knows your heart. And He forgives you because He loves you and you were called by name and he’s going to heal you.”  Turn to God!

You Will Overcome and Get Over It

Kelly says you will overcome and get through this. She advises Ova to try to go to church and find things she likes to do. Kelly also said, try to read your Bible and pray. She says, people will be there for you, you just have to pray, and God will lead you the way you need to go.

Put God First

Sabine says sometimes we don’t realize how we can block our own blessings from God because of the choices we make and the way we choose to live. She says, during Ova’s time of job searching, she wasn’t putting God first, she was not living a lifestyle pleasing to God. Sabine said to make sure you remember every day, all day, to put God first.

What Does Ova Need to Do?

1. Get Her Spiritual Life Together

Until she gets her spiritual life together she will remain as she is – stuck.  She confessed that she’s not living to her full potential.  She can’t sleep. She can’t find a job.  She hates herself and feels like God has forgotten her.  She’s just going in circles.  And she’s miserable. Until she gets her spiritual life together, she will remain as she is – stuck.

2. Stop allowing Shame to destroy Her Self-Worth

Guilt is feeling bad about what you do. Shame is feeling bad about who you think you are.  She believes she’ll always be unworthy before God because of what she has done, which affects how she feels about herself. Shame is a deadly game and she’s mixed up in it. No one needs to be caught in shame and live that way for long. You can’t, it’s so toxic that in time, it will break you down and destroy you.

3. Accept God’s Love

God hates shame and wants to show us his love and acceptance. He longs to show us we are forgiven. Christ was covered in shame when he died on the cross, so we don’t have to be.  I thought the verse Hannah used was very powerful. The Bible says in, 2nd Chronicles 7:14, “If my people, who are called by my name, will humble themselves and pray and seek my face and turn from their wicked ways, then I will hear from heaven, and I will forgive their sin and will heal their land.” If we will but pray and seek God and turn from the wickedness and trash in our lives. God will forgive and heal us.

4. Be Patient with Herself

Ova needs to be patient with herself.  God forgives the minute you confess, but there is a healing process.  May Ova’s prayer become a reality in her life. May she find a job soon. May she continue to walk with God in a whole new light. May Ova experience the answer to her prayer to hear the truth that will set her free.

What Advice Would You Give Ova?

Ova was very appreciative of the great advice she received. If you have advice for Ova, would you type it in the comments below!?! You never know when Ova or someone else struggling might read it, be encouraged and find hope from you.

Did Today’s Episode Get You Thinking?

Have you ever been in a place in your life where you never thought you would end up? The good news is that we have the freedom to start putting God first in our life at any time. God wants to help us change and transform into the person He wants us to be. God is a God of grace and mercy. He forgives when we ask, and he heals our brokenness. Let’s turn to God, surrender to Him, and allow Him to work in our lives.

Resources for Help With Shame and Self-Worth:

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Remember, whatever you do, Never Lose Hope!

Dawson McAllister
Dawson McAllister, also known as America's youth pastor, was an author, radio host, speaker, and founder of TheHopeLine. McAllister attended Bethel College in Minnesota for undergraduate work where he graduated in 1968, began graduate studies at Talbot School of Theology in California, and received an honorary doctorate from Biola University.
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