Drugs and Alcohol…I Wanted to Feel Something
Hi, I’m Jake Luhrs, lead singer of August Burns Red.
When I was a teenager I reached out to girls and alcohol and drugs and things like this. Because I wanted to feel something. I wanted to feel loved. I started playing music at the age of 17. And I was like, that’s what I want…I’m going to work to get this respect in my life. And I started doing it and people came to me. People loved my music. I was using my energy for wrong. I wasn’t doing the right thing with it. And I feel like now that I look back I think God was like man, “You’re close…you’re this close to doing what you need to be doing.”
I Wanted to Kill Myself
My band ended up breaking up and I was depressed. I left my mom’s home in Columbia, South Carolina and I lived with my buddy and I was a painter. I’d wake up at 4 in the morning and I’d paint until 4 or 5 in the afternoon. But I’d come home and I’d get depressed because I didn’t have my band. I’d start drinking and I’d started living this routine and I just saw myself getting eaten away because I felt no love, no respect.
I was painting a house and I walked outside for a cigarette and I looked up to God and I was like, “God, I was like, I don’t have family, I don’t have love, I don’t have respect for myself, I don’t have anything. And I want to kill myself and take my life.” Months before that I had started to think about committing suicide. And I was like, “God if you’re real…Jesus, if your son Jesus…” and I was just like that man, I was taunting. I was like that…because I didn’t care…I never saw any proof of any of this. “If your son, Jesus, is real and you’re real, you need to show me, right now, because, right now, I’m giving my heart to you. And if you don’t want it…then nobody wants it. Because I don’t want it.” I’m telling you right then and there, I could not stop smiling!
Heroin, Alcohol, Betrayal…Lord Help Me
You finally became a real man and looked to your creator and said here I am, take me. Heroin, drugs, alcohol, sex, betrayal…take this out of my life. I don’t want it. I don’t want to think about it. I don’t want it to be a part of who I am today. You just have to ask the Lord to cleanse you of these things. You’re not going to be perfect. You’re going to fall again. God knows this. But He loves you…you’ll never be alone. And you are forgiven. Don’t abuse grace, but embrace it…understand it. And that’s why I walk up here with you guys and I have no shame. God has taken that all away from me and I’m a brand new human being with new desires…God’s desires and God’s love.
I Now Have a Desire to Help Young Adults
I found Christ at the age of 20 years old. I have the desire to talk to kids about really things that matter. I came from a rough background. I definitely dealt with alcohol, drug abuse, and things like that and I feel like God has given me this platform and this place to talk to kids openly about these kinds of things. And offer them a message of hope. Lately, I’ve been speaking at churches, events, and festivals and I’d love to be a part of whatever is going on with you. – Jake Luhrs
Jake Luhrs from August Burns Red and founder of HeartSupport.com, shares his story from suicide to a believer in Jesus. For more information please email info@heartsupport.com or call (214) 664-9619. HeartSupport was created so no music fan would have to struggle alone.
If you have lost hope for your life, please read this article about giving life another chance. You are worthy and YOU MATTER!
If you or a friend need support right now, call the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 1-800-273-8255, for free confidential, 24/7 help. For a list of crisis centers around the world and additional help, please visit the suicide prevention resource page.
