Dawson’s Blog

Guys, Stay Away From Her

Why Stay Away?

When it comes to dating relationships, there are a lot of guys who never think about dangerous and troubled girls. Some guys only ask the question, Is she hot? And if the girl will go out with him, he considers himself lucky. He has no idea about the emotional landmines that lie ahead. Plus, he no doubt has not thought through the consequences of dating the wrong girl. Dating is a process that should be dealt with carefully.(Romero) Romero is absolutely right. On my radio show, Dawson McAllister Live, I have heard many heartbroken guys who have gotten mixed up with all the wrong girls. They never considered what the wisest man in the Bible wrote about bad women:

A bad woman is worse than death. She is a trap, reaching out with body and soul to catch you.

Now I’m not trying to bash women, but truth is truth. If you think I’m tough on bad women, read my blog archives about bad guys. All I’m trying to do is save both sexes from a world of hurt that could be avoided by making the right dating choices. Sometimes the date you don’t have is the best date you’ll ever have. Ladies, you will agree with me. There are some bad women out there. Read what Katie said about her brother and a bad woman he’s gotten entangled with: My brother keeps trying to rescue her and keeps holding onto her for some unknown reason, and tries to help her…I’m not sure if he’s dating her or not, but she’s trouble.

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There are plenty of women who are nothing but trouble, the kind of women you would want to protect from the guy you love. So, if your brother or some guy you love was starting to date, what type of woman would you tell him to avoid at all costs?

Avoid women who are morally and spiritually bankrupt. You have seen this kind of woman. She can be a knock out, with a body sexier than Angelina Jolie. But in her heart, she’s a mess. She’s beautiful on the outside, but ugly on the inside. She has very little conscience and doesn’t care what’s right or wrong. She’s shallow and doesn’t think about what’s really important. This troubled girl doesn’t care who she hurts. She is disrespectful of everything, including herself. If they don’t respect themselves then how will they respect you?(Ally) Ally makes a good point. I would take it one step further. If she doesn’t respect herself, she won’t respect your friends, your family, your hobbies, all that is you. Not only is she disrespectful, she is loud and crude.

She should wear a t-shirt that says, Stay away from me. I’m messed up and Ill mess you up too.

She may be flashy and talk trash with you, but if you get involved with her, you’ll end up feeling like trash, because inside she’s cold as ice. I [would] tell [my brother]if a woman sleeps with him on the first date then she has probably done that with every guy she has been with. And never be stupid enough to believe the very common line given by a lot of women…’I don’t usually do this on the first date, but I really like you.’ That has *** written all over it!!(Tara)She doesn’t care about you and never will. She only cares about herself. She should wear a t-shirt that says, Stay away from me. I’m messed up and I’ll mess you up too.Katie is right on the money. This messed up girl will bring you down before you know it. I would beg my brother not to date someone with low moral standards. Don’t think you can change your girlfriend with just your example. Don’t risk letting her bring you down to her level.(Katie)

Avoid a girl/woman who is a nagging complainer.There are plenty of girls like this at your school. Once you date a nagging complainer, you will never forget her. Here is a woman who is constantly negative and attacking. No matter what you do for her, it’s never enough. She has tremendous mood swings and seems to be at war with the world and it’s just a matter of time when she will be at war with you. This woman is extremely controlling. She wants everything her way and right now. The nicest name you can call her is Miss High Maintenance.

She’s the kind of girl that can get inside your head and turn you every which way but loose.

She will consume you and belittle you, tearing down your self-esteem. In the end, she will leave you feeling exhausted and defeated. High maintenance girls are never satisfied with anything anyone does for them. They have high expectations with steep price tags. I just absolutely hope [my brother] learns to weed out those girls who can’t fall in love with simple things like a walk in the park or a day at the beach.(Cassie) This girl is highly controlling and manipulative. Avoid her like the plague. She’s the kind of girl that can get inside your head and turn you every which way but loose.Any girl that can make you feel guilty about yourself or that can manipulate your thoughts of who you are is not worth it.(Kristen)

Avoid a girl/woman who has a lot of baggage. Sadly, there are many needy girls at your school. They seem to be everywhere. This is the girl who has been deeply wounded or abused. She is the kind who brings tons of drama into a dating relationship. Drama is all she knows. It’s like everyday something awful is happening to her. Often, this girl is extremely clingy, craving attention.

Some guys think they can rescue and heal needy girls. It’s called the Wounded Bird Syndrome.

Tragically she looks to her boyfriend to come to her rescue to make everything perfect. It’s like she can’t stand up for herself so wants her boyfriend to be Superman. She doesn’t understand her boyfriend can’t heal her. She’s going to have to get help for emotional healing from others far more trained and objective than her hero boyfriend. Some guys think they can rescue and heal needy girls. It’s called the Wounded Bird Syndrome.But sooner or later, they find out they can’t fix her. Never go out with a girl who has major insecurities about herself becauseyou might think you can fix her problems I’ve known some guys to go out with girls or become friends with girls to help’ thembut throwing yourself into a relationship with that person and relying on yourself to fix everything is not healthy and will end up making you emotionally and physically exhausted.(Kristen)

Avoid a girl/woman who entices you with her seductive ways. Everybody has seen a seductive girl. You can’t miss her. When she walks down the street, there’s far more skin than there are clothes. It seems like she’s always falling out of her outfit. While it’s not very loving, you want to say, If you’re not a prostitute, don’t dress like one.This type of girl is very sad. By advertising skin, she’s telling guys not to look past her body into her heart.When a guy sees skin it just invites his mind to wander, especially when you’re trying to have a serious conversation with him and he won’t stop looking down your shirt.(Nate) She gives the sexy look which says, Here I am, come and get me.

The seducer will have nothing to show for her tragic lifestyle but a broken heart.

Soon, she becomes locked into sexual relationships. She’s so needy, she seems to have a new guy every week. Cheating is the name of her game. I would tell [my brother] to stay away from those girls who brag that they had sex with their past boyfriend and that they are planning to do it again.(Adam) The girl who is the seducer, who uses her body to lure guys to her, will in the end be left alone. Guys will play around with a seducer, but then end up marrying someone more like their sister, or mother. The seducer will have nothing to show for her tragic lifestyle but a broken heart. I would tell my brother to date a girl who covers herself up. Too many girls think that skin’ is the latest in fashion trends. I think a girl who covers up shows that she respects herself. You can see integrity, honor, and purity in her.(Sarah)

Conclusion. Dating can be confusing and even dangerous. No one goes into a dating relationship hoping to get hurt or to ruin their lives, but it happens to thousands of teenagers and young adults everyday. My advice to all who are dating is to be careful, careful, and more careful. It’s a jungle out there and you only have one heart. So, don’t let it be broken by dating the wrong person.

Your friend,

Dawson McAllister Dawson McAllister (born in New Kensington, Pennsylvania) is an American speaker, radio host, and author. He is the founder of Dawson McAllister Association and TheHopeLine and host of the national radio program Dawson McAllister Live, which is aired on Sunday nights. Dawson has been speaking to and in support of teenagers and young adults for over 40 years.
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