Guys, Stay Away From Her

When it comes to dating relationships, there are a lot of guys who never think about dangerous and troubled girls. Some guys only ask the question, "Is she hot?" And if the girl will go out with him, he considers himself lucky.

He has given no thought to the emotional landmines that may lie ahead or the consequences of dating the wrong girl. Dating is a process that should be dealt with carefully. On my radio show, Dawson McAllister Live, I have heard many heartbroken guys who have gotten mixed up with all the wrong girls.

Avoid the Heartbreak

Now I'm not trying to bash women at all. I have tremendous respect for women. However, the truth is that some women are not in a good place to start a relationship. If you think I'm tough here, read my blog about cheating guys. All I'm trying to do is save both sexes from a world of hurt that could be avoided by making the right dating choices.

Sometimes the date you don't have is the best date you'll ever have.

Here are three characteristics you would be wise to avoid:

Those who are morally and spiritually bankrupt

You have seen this kind of woman. She can be a knockout. But in her heart, she's a mess. She's beautiful on the outside, but ugly on the inside. She has very little conscience and doesn't care what's right or wrong. She's shallow and doesn't think about what's really important. This troubled girl doesn't care who she hurts and likely has been hurt herself. She is disrespectful of everything, including herself.

It's sad to see. But the truth is, starting a relationship with a girl like this, at this point in her life, is not going to be good for you or for her.

If they don't respect themselves then how will they respect, you?  In fact, if she doesn't respect herself, she won't respect your friends, your family, your hobbies, all that is you.

Likewise, the girl who uses her body to lure guys to her, doesn't respect herself. By dressing provocatively, she's telling guys to look at my body and not into my heart. Sarah commented about warning her brother about this kind of girl:  I would tell my brother to date a girl who covers herself up. Too many girls think that skin is the latest in fashion trends. I think a girl who covers up shows that she respects herself. You can see integrity, honor, and purity in her.

She may be flashy and talk trashy, but if you get involved with her, you may end up feeling like trash, because inside she's cold as ice. Tara commented, If a woman is willing to sleep with him on the first date then she has probably done that with every guy she has been with. And never be stupid enough to believe the very common line given by a lot of women...' I don't usually do this on the first date, but I really like you.' That has *** written all over it!!

Or as Katie said, Don't date someone with low moral standards. Don't think you can change your girlfriend with just your example. Don't risk letting her bring you down to her level. 

Those who are high maintenance

Have you ever dated a girl who is constantly negative and attacking? No matter what you do for her, it's never enough. She has tremendous mood swings and seems to be at war with the world and it's just a matter of time when she will be at war with you. She wants everything her way and right now. The nicest name you can call her is Miss High Maintenance.

She will consume you and belittle you, tearing down your self-esteem. In the end, she will leave you feeling exhausted and defeated. High-maintenance girls are never satisfied with anything anyone does for them. They have high expectations with steep price tags. Weed out those girls who can't fall in love with simple things like a walk in the park or a day at the beach. (Cassie)

This girl is highly controlling and manipulative. She's the kind of girl that can get inside your head and turn you every which way but loose. Any girl that can make you feel guilty about yourself or that can manipulate your thoughts of who you are is not worth it. (Kristen)

Those who need you to "fix" them 

These are the girls who bring tons of drama into a dating relationship. Drama is all she knows. It's like every day something awful is happening to her. Often, this girl is extremely clingy, craving attention.

Tragically, she looks to her boyfriend to come to her rescue and make everything perfect. It's like she can't stand up for herself, so she needs her boyfriend to be Superman. She doesn't understand her boyfriend can't heal her. She likely needs counseling and emotional healing from people far more trained and objective than her hero boyfriend. Some guys think they can rescue and heal needy girls. It's called the Wounded Bird Syndrome. But sooner or later, they find out they can't fix her.

Never go out with a girl who has major insecurities about herself because you might think you can fix her problems. I've known some guys to go out with girls or become friends with girls to help them but throwing yourself into a relationship with that person and relying on yourself to fix everything is not healthy and will end up making you emotionally and physically exhausted. (Kristen)

Take your Time

Dating can be confusing and even risky. No one goes into a dating relationship hoping to get hurt or to ruin their lives, but it happens to thousands of teenagers and young adults every day. My advice to all who are dating is to be careful, careful, and more careful. It's a jungle out there and you only have one heart. So, don't let it be broken by dating the wrong person.

For more on this topic, listen to the advice I give Cory who keeps dating girls who cheat on him.  Check out Ask Dawson's -  How Can I Get A Girlfriend Who Won't Cheat?

Dawson McAllister
Dawson McAllister, also known as America's youth pastor, was an author, radio host, speaker, and founder of TheHopeLine. McAllister attended Bethel College in Minnesota for undergraduate work where he graduated in 1968, began graduate studies at Talbot School of Theology in California, and received an honorary doctorate from Biola University.
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One comment on “Guys, Stay Away From Her”

  1. I have to agree with "Tara"... I briefly dated a woman who ironically enough was actually named "Tara". The first time we met after a 5 month long-distance relationship, ( I moved for a job to the same area of the stated she lives in) She met me at my motel the second night I was in town, and prior to arriving she said in a text message that was almost verbatim what Tara said to look out for. We went to dinner... she insisted that I drove her car, we got along great and went back to my motel. Within minutes of arriving, she ripped off her clothes and ______.
    I have to admit I was more than willing and did...Looking back on it, I should have cut off contact after that night. I wanted a relationship and got attached too fast. Evidently, all she wanted was a one-night stand. It morphed into almost 4 months of dealing with head games and me trying several times to cut contact. I'm pretty sure that's what she's all about and long-term relationships are out of her ability. From everything she told me, she's been married and divorced 4 times by the time she was 41...all of them were cheaters. Looking back at what she said and the things she did, I'm reasonably sure she was the cause of her marital problems. The red flags were flying and ignored all of them until I couldn't at the very end. And as narcissists do, she blamed me for all of the problems we had. Communication on her part was none existent, silent treatment was her weapon of choice, ghosting, breadcrumbing. With her, I got educated on what a narcissist is and how they operate.

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