When you are in a dating relationship all kinds of questions come up, especially at the beginning. I get asked a lot of questions about this and so today I have some new relationship advice to offer.
The Start of a Dating Relationship
The start of a dating relationship can be a wild time as you are both just trying to figure out all the details. Things like:
- How/when do you tell other people about your relationship?
- When are you going to make time for each other?
- Falling hard for someone really quickly
Let's Start off with Amy who asks the first question, "I've been seeing a guy for about a month now. Neither of us has told anyone about the relationship I sort of want to, but he does not."
Why Does My Boyfriend Feel the Need to Keep Our Relationship a Secret? Should I Be Worried?
Anytime There Is Secrecy Involved in a Relationship, There’s a Cause for Worry.
Some people like to keep a relationship private when they're not sure where it's going. Still, others want to keep a relationship secret because they are also involved with another person, or not completely over their previous relationship. I'm not sure what the exact situation is with your boyfriend, but he may be using you, or he may even be worried about being embarrassed.
Either way, his secrecy should give you concern. Someone who truly cares about you should be proud to tell other people about you.
Secrecy in Relationships Is Cause for Concern
Relationships should be about joy, happiness, and love...not secrecy. If I, were you, I would tell him how much you're enjoying your relationship with him, but how difficult it is to not be able to talk about it with those who are closest to you. Ask him if you could tell your best friend about the relationship and see how he reacts.
On the other hand, maybe it's okay to not to push your secret boyfriend to immediately "define" your relationship. Some people feel they have to tell the world when they are dating someone. This can be frightening to guys who are often afraid of calling something a relationship before they are really sure what it is.
Time and communication are going to be your two best friends in this situation. In the end, if he really cares about you, he'll want the world to know.
Tasha brings us the next new relationship question:
What Should You Do When You Fall Hard for Someone and In a Really Short Time?
What You’re Dealing With Is a Lot of Fantasy and not a lot of Reality.
What you're experiencing happens to a lot of people. It's called infatuation. Infatuation is the emotional feeling of romantic love. It feels like love. It acts like love. But it does not pass an important test: the test of time.
There is nothing wrong with being infatuated, most relationships start there. But you just can't build a lasting relationship with looks alone. You are probably feeling a great deal of attraction, even though you don't know much about him. I would be very cautious if I were you because you're dealing with a lot of emotion and fantasy, and not a lot of reality.
You're most likely living off of the thoughts about "how great it would be to have this person love me and care for me" and the emotional high when he begins to show signs, he really cares for you.
Over Time, You’ll Find a Whole lot More of Who He Really Is, Not What You Dream He Is.
While it's difficult to do, you need to slow down your emotions. It's a very confusing time, and you might be tempted to say or do things you will later regret. Get to know him as a friend and let him get to know you.
In this situation, time is one of your best friends, because over time, you'll find a whole lot more of who he really is, not what you dream he is. You will be able to make a better decision about whether or not to get more involved with him at that point. In this case, let your head tell you how to act, as opposed to your emotions.
Avoiding Heartbreak
I hear from a lot of people who are struggling with a broken heart. Some of my most read blogs are about getting over a broken heart. Not every broken heart is avoidable, but the two questions I was asked above to point to ways to protect yourself. Don't jump in too fast and beware of secrets.
Relationship decisions are a big deal. That's why I am asked so many questions about them. So I would always encourage you to pray to God about any relationship you are entering, especially if you have some concerns. Ask God if this is what he really desires for you.
"If any of you lacks wisdom, you should ask God, who gives generously to all without finding fault, and it will be given to you." James 1:5
God wants the best for you. So, ask him to help you make the best decisions with your relationships.
My bf gave me a ring for valentines day and he hasnt been talking to me since hes been playing games with his friends and like not even talking to me i'm wondering what i should do
My boyfriend and I have been dating now almost two years, First he told me he didn't put his personal stuff on web sites such as Facebook etc nor would he change his status... it caused several problems and we both got off of it... He also texts other females and says there just friends but I know for a fact one is a gal that works with him and I informed him several times that bothers me but, it always gets turned around like in too jealous...he had no pictures of us on his page either... I'm now dealing with him going on pentrest and saving photos of girls naked it makes me feel uncomfortable and unappreciated in many ways I've tried to talk bout this but it ends up in fighting which I don't like... he has a lock on his phone and says it's his not mine what he does on it is only his business I informed him not when it causes issues with us... then I get treat with him not wanting to be around me shunning me that hurts.. I'm s honest faithful lady I told him those actions aren't love... when I mention leaving he tells me he doesn't want me too I'm so in love with him and very confused and heart broken... I want respect honesty and trust I told him secrets aren't good he acts like there ok
I just recently started dating this guy, and he's been acting kind of weird lately. When were alone, he gets very touchy and never wants to stop talking to me, but when we're at school, he doesn't even say "hello". When I confronted him about it, his exact words were, "I don't want anyone to know I'm with someone." But to be honest, all of my grade knows already. The other day in class someone asked him, "Do you guys have a thing going on?" and his response was, "I don't know." Should I be worried? Is he ashamed to be with me?
Me and my boyfriend are almost gonna make two years in march , a while back , he started deleting our pictures off his phone and off his Facebook and gave me a excuse and I was okay with it , but then he broke up with me and said he needed space to find himself. We were broken up for a month and I was broken so once I started to move on , he came back and I gave him a second chance , but now he's keeping us a secret and now I'm starting to see a pattern, am I overthinking?
I sent my friend a pic of the man I've fallen in love with. When I sent her the pic his private phone number attached and she took it upon herself to text him and tell him please don't hurt my friend(me) and don't play her! My boyfriend could have blocked her or told her not to worry he loved me.. he did neither. When we spoke the next day about this he said no worries!!! A week went by and by Saturday he texted me how pissed off he was at me and I deceived him, I a untrustworthy and he will never trust me again.i honestly did not send his number on purpose nor did I give my so called friend permission to text him.He has told me he loves me more then words can say, so how did our love and relationship go from the most wonderful to he won't even talk this out? I love him with all of me I'm in so much pain!! And he told me not to text him so I stopped but I have gotten text from him one saying I'll call you and didn't and yesterday Kisses to you what should I think???