If you’re dealing with addiction or experiencing a relapse, true recovery is a challenge. When you feel overwhelmed by recovery, it can be tempting to self-soothe or self-medicate with unhealthy or addictive behaviors.
To understand the difference between self-care and self-soothing, think of those times when you have an illness. You wouldn’t care for the flu with junk food, parties, and entertainment that would only make you feel good for a brief time. You would care for the root causes of your illness and follow prescribed treatments that truly heal your body (rather than just masking your discomfort).
Likewise, true self-care is the only way to heal your mind, body, and spirit from the pain and scars left by the disease of addiction.
Since many relapse and addiction triggers happen when you are hungry, tired, or irritable, caring for your body is paramount when you’re in addiction recovery.
Since addiction takes place in the mind as much as the body, it’s important that your self-care extends to your mental health. Set and keep regular appointments with your doctor, as well as for any recovery mentorship or therapy you receive. The extra accountability and support goes a long way.
Starting a mindfulness meditation practice may also help you focus more clearly on your recovery and the positive intentions behind it. You don’t even have to leave home to try it. You can find meditation blogs and sites, YouTube channels, and smartphone apps to remind you to take time out for your daily mindfulness exercise.
Many recovery programs use creative expression as a form of healthy self-care. Journaling, writing stories or poetry, drawing, painting, and collaging are just a few of the ways you can share the words, thoughts, and feelings of your recovery journey.
Starting a hobby (or picking it back up) is another wonderful way to de-stress without turning to unhealthy thoughts or behaviors.
Sewing, artwork, reading, hiking – whatever you enjoy, it’s perfectly okay to treat yourself to things that stimulate your mind and connect you with others. For ideas, try searching for local community education classes or meetup groups that interest you – there’s a lot to do and learn!
There’s a reason some of the most famous recovery programs in the world acknowledge a higher power very early on. Faith and grace make the impossible possible.
“With men this is impossible, but with God all things are possible.”- Matthew 19:26 (NKJV)
Recovery fueled by faith also offers a sense of community, which helps counter the sense of isolation that triggers many relapses into addictive behavior.
If you are interested in knowing more about God who makes all things possible, read this - Learn More About God
We’ve talked with many people who don’t go to church, but who have found comfort and peace from receiving prayer for addiction recovery.
If you’re struggling with addiction, we are here to help. Your healing is possible, and it can begin now.
If you're struggling with an addiction to prescription medications download this free eBook for help.
The end of a relationship can feel devastating. It can be hard to sleep, eat, or concentrate. The things you once thought were fun don’t appeal anymore. Depending on how long you were together, or how intense the emotional attachment was, it may even feel like you don’t know what direction your life will take now.
But don’t give up faith, and don’t lose hope.
As with other types of grief, grieving after a breakup can be done in a healthy way that points you toward healing without spiraling into bitterness, shame, or self-loathing.
Acknowledging the end of a relationship is tough, but there are other things to learn and know after a breakup that are more empowering. One study by the Journal of Positive Psychology found that most participants saw progress in their healing, recovery, and growth after only a few months (around 11 weeks).
Just as knowing that you’re not alone in your feelings can help you when things are at their worst, knowing that you can and will heal from a breakup can help you move forward. There are plenty of practical ways to start on a path to wholeness.
Since you’re not spending time with your significant other anymore, it can be tempting to fill that time by wallowing in negative emotions like self-pity, rage, and bitterness.
It may feel good to get those feelings out of your system, but they can do damage if not balanced by other emotions or experiences. If you have a history of struggles with harmful behaviors, addiction, or mental illness, the days after breaking up are a critical time to reach out for help and support.
There are lots of productive ways to use your time after a breakup. Here are a few of the most effective:
Travel: Going somewhere new can be a healthy distraction from the places and routines that remind you of your boyfriend or girlfriend. Take a road trip with some friends, visit family, or visit a hometown landmark you’ve never seen before. Planning and enjoying a trip helps you feel more independent, and may broaden your horizons along the way.
Learning: Learning something new is always fun and energizing. The sense of accomplishment it provides can boost your confidence and help you counter the negative emotions that come along with a breakup, You can try:
Helping Others: Whether it’s volunteering for a cause you believe in, giving time to a ministry at your church, tutoring at your local community center, or being there for a friend who’s going through a rough time, helping others is one of the most therapeutic things you can do after a breakup. It will help you feel better and it may provide you with some much-needed perspective.
One of the most important things to remember when dealing with a breakup is that your partner’s negative words and feelings about you do not define your true worth. You had worth before and during the relationship. Your value cannot be damaged or diminished by a breakup, no matter how painful the end of the relationship feels.
Believing this can be even more of a struggle if your romantic relationship (or other close relationships that would otherwise be a part of your support system) included a history of abuse, mistreatment, or abandonment.
“He gives strength to the weary, and increases the power of the weak. . . Those who hope in the Lord will renew their strength. They will soar on wings like eagles. They will run and not grow weary. They will walk and not be faint.”— Isaiah 40: 29, 31 (NIV)
But going through a breakup does not make you broken. You were created for good, and there is abundant grace and mercy to strengthen you and help you move forward. TheHopeLine is here for you during your breakup. Talk to us, reach out to a mentor, or request prayer whenever you need it. We can help you work toward healing a broken heart and make sure you reconnect with healthy relationships.
You fell in love and got hurt now what do you do? Find out how to heal, cope and love again:
She has a plan to drive her car off of a really high bridge. It’s always serious when someone says, “I’m suicidal,” and I take it as very serious. If they have a plan, it’s serious on steroids. I asked Britney why she wants to. She said, “Because I don’t feel like I have anything going in my life. My life has revolved around taking care of my family and friends.”
Driving off the bridge is not the answer. Suicide is way too medicine for the sickness. Last weekend, her mom overdosed on her pills and she wasn’t sure if it was an accident or not. Britney constantly worries about her mom. Britney was put in foster care growing up and also had to take care of her grandmother, who had cancer. She wonders, “What’s the point?”
She no doubt was asked to do something she was way too young for – something that was too demanding for her age and emotional needs. Here she was, a foster child (which has its own issues), taking care of her dying grandmother. It was all too much for her.
She sounds emotionally exhausted. She didn’t say it, but her mother’s overdose probably makes her wonder if she’s going to have to go through the hurt again of taking care of someone who is dying, and who will leave her. As the old song goes, “Alone Again, Naturally.”
As I talked with Britney on my show, I realized that some of the most invaluable advice and encouragement could come from others who had been in her shoes. She needed some real uplifting and as we opened up the phone lines asking for people to give her message of hope…the calls came flooding in. Here are a few of those calls, from Katelyn, Brad, Caleb, and Lauren. These people were right on with their messages of hope and their encouragement!
Katelyn says to Britney, “Keep going, suicide is not the answer. I’ve been in your shoes to the point where I didn’t want to be there anymore. And you just need to pray, be strong, and hold your head up. Even though you’re going through a rough patch right now, just know that God is handling it. God is watching over you. Look up to Him and pray to God. You are a strong beautiful person.
There is no reason you should end your life because God has a plan for you.”
Katelyn was kind but direct. She spoke of firsthand experience. She, too, had thought about killing herself. People who have been suicidal and have come through the other side can be extremely helpful.
Some people are afraid to talk with a suicidal person about their issues, thinking about what they say will push them off the ledge, but that’s not true. Talking with someone openly about suicide can only help, as long as it is respectful, kind, and without any baiting. For example, “You’ll never kill yourself. You’re too stupid to do it.” That’s baiting. And it’s very dangerous. But Katelyn didn’t do that. She spoke openly about the issues and was extremely respectful.
Katelyn was also hopeful. And her hopefulness had been impacted by her faith in God. When you bring God into the equation, you also bring hope because whatever is troubling someone who is suicidal can be solved by God.
Here’s Brad’s advice for Britney. “I’ve been in your shoes before, I know exactly what you’re going through. I have felt the world against my shoulders, felt the world was crashing down around me and there was nowhere to turn…except to end it all. I had a plan myself. I started to do the plan and then one of my friends called me. I just happened to pick up, completely in tears, completely upset, feeling I wasn’t loved, that there was no there just to say, “Hey, I got you. I got your back. I’m always here if you need something.” It’s all sort of unexplained mysterious work at hand just to let you know that you are worth more than driving your car off a bridge. Your self-worth and the worth of everybody around you and around the world that’s listening right now. The fact the whole world is blowing up to let you know, girl, you got this. You can beat this, you are loved by millions of people. You’ve called in to talk with Dawson, you’ve called in and are listening to all of us. Just to talk to you and we are here to say we know where you are coming from. I get it. I understand. I’m here if you need me. I’m here if you need anything at all.”
Brad, too, offered tremendous hope to Britney. He said the very fact that she had called the show was a sign of hope. He’s right.
Some people are so depressed they don’t have the emotional strength to call. She did. She was serious, and she was getting the answers she was looking for.
He also talked about the millions of people who were hearing her plea for help. And those million were all pulling for her. Always remember what people want most is hope. If you will sincerely offer it to them, you are giving them an amazing gift.
Caleb said to Britney, “You called Dawson for a reason. God sent you to Dawson for a reason, so you could call him. That way God can speak to you through someone else to help you not do what you are trying to do right now. There have been many people in your shoes. I have been in your shoes just recently. I wanted to drive my car at 110 mph into a tree. But Dawson came on and spoke words to me that I’ve never heard before and I listened to his show for 8 years. I had friend’s blowing up my phone, they all tell me there’s a reason I’m here. God didn’t put you down here for no reason. Nobody is down here on this Earth for no reason.
We all make a difference, whether it be now, in the past, or in the future. You could wake up tomorrow and then something new sparks up and you’ve just changed the whole world. You never know.”
Caleb had something really powerful to say – he said, “You’re not down here for no reason.” He was saying don’t blow the opportunity God has given you. It may be dark today, but that could all change tomorrow.
Lauren says to Britney, “Life gets really really hard sometimes and it feels like you’re at your breaking point. I suffer with depression. I’ve been through a lot of things and been suicidal. You’re so young and there’s so much you haven’t experienced.
There’s so much in the world to see. And you’re worth so much more than driving your car off a bridge.”
Lauren, another caller, piggy-backed on what Caleb was saying. She said, “You’re so young, and there’s so much in the world you haven’t experienced, and there’s so much in the world to see. And you’re worth so much more than driving your car off a bridge.” Amen Lauren!
Britney said the advice was amazing! After hearing the messages of hope, she said, “I’m not going to give up!” If you have advice for Britney, would you type it in the comments below! You never know when Britney or someone else struggling with suicidal thoughts might read it, be encouraged and find hope.
Have you been having thoughts of suicide or know someone who’s there right now? It’s incredible, the difference we can make in someone’s life by speaking love and encouragement to them. What I loved about each of those that gave messages of hope for Britney, was that is they could relate to what she was feeling. Each one of them had felt like giving up at some point in their life.
They told Britney, they’d been there, feeling like she does, and she didn’t have to be in that place alone.
I love what Caleb told Britney, “God didn’t put you down here for no reason.” God has an amazing plan for each one of us. Psalm 139:13-16 says, “For you formed my inward parts; you knitted me together in my mother’s womb. I praise you, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made. Wonderful are your works; my soul knows it very well. My frame was not hidden from you, when I was being made in secret, intricately woven in the depths of the earth. Your eyes saw my unformed substance; in your book were written, every one of them, the days that were formed for me, when as yet there was none of them.”
Let God be your hope. He alone is our hope and our refuge. As the Psalmist David wrote, “We put our hope in the Lord. He is our help and our shield. In him our hearts rejoice, for we trust in his holy name. Let your unfailing love surround us, Lord, for our hope is in you alone.” (Psalm 33:20-22)
Resources for help with Suicide:
If you or a friend need support right now, call the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 1-800-273-8255, for free confidential, 24/7 help. Head here for a list of crisis centers around the world.
One last thing,
My podcast, our website, everything we do is entirely listener supported. If you’d like to help us to continue our work, please make a gift right now at our Give Now page.
Remember, whatever you do, Never Lose Hope!
I met this girl. She had a smile that made me melt inside. I began talking to her every day and quickly fell in love. We'd been talking about getting married and it felt so certain. It was all I wanted. No. She was all I wanted. I loved her with every ounce of my soul. She was part of me. I thought we were destined to be together. I loved her so much that if I wasn't talking to her I'd rather not talk at all. We used to just stare into each other's eyes and know that everything was gonna be okay as long as we were together. We didn't even need to talk sometimes we already knew what was going to be said.
But now, those three words that meant so much, mean so little. One night I was by myself and I felt like hearing her voice so I called her. She answered and while we were talking I hear her some guy in the background say "babe get off the phone already!" And I just cringed and told her that I had to go. My phone kept going off and it was her every time. I just sat there in my room considering what I thought were options. I wanted to die almost as much as I had wanted her. I felt so betrayed. I went on Instagram and was looking at her photos. I saw this guy in her comments and they were flirting with each other. I felt like the life was leaving my body. But it was just the love.
I ended the relationship. She said she was sorry and tried to "explain". There were no words to take away that kind of pain. This tore me up for months. I could hardly stand hearing her name. All of "our songs" were ruined. I felt like I climbed back inside the shell she forced me to break through. I hid from the sunshine and the possibility of finding someone else.
But in the midst of this, I found myself. I suffered all those nights only to wake up every day. I thought so often about leaving this world behind, but now I realize I was so blind. I couldn't see that the darkness was only for the moment. I didn't know that it would pass. I thought it never would honestly.
But I'm telling YOU now that the dark moments in life are what define us. We can choose to sink in our issues until we're in over our heads or we could find a way, no matter how long it takes, to climb out of the deep darkness. You will be yourself again just give it time. Just breathe. There are better days ahead I promise you this.
From someone who's been there. ~ Matt #brokenheart
Think your significant other may be cheating on you? Read 15 Signs Your BF-GF May be Cheating on You.
It’s never easy to cope with job loss – and it’s even harder if you’ve been fired or laid off unexpectedly. Most people experience grief after losing a job, just as they would after any other significant loss.
It can be jarring to feel the intense, negative emotions that come with unemployment. But there’s no need to feel guilty for being sad, angry, or anxious about the future. You’re not alone in your feelings or your circumstances.
The important thing is to have a plan for dealing with your feelings in a healthy way so that you can move forward to the next opportunity.
In the days right after losing your job, it may be tempting to exhaust yourself with job searching. You may also feel immobilized by depression and anxiety.
It’s important to take a break to lower your stress level. Make time to rest, hydrate, and eat well so that you can keep your focus sharp and your energy up as you get ready for your next steps.
Don’t forget to stay active in things you enjoy. Getting exercise and keeping engaged in your favorite hobbies are simple, effective ways to decrease anxiety. The endorphin boost makes it easier to maintain a positive attitude.
Often, one of the most upsetting things about losing your job is losing your peer group at work. But the good news is, they weren’t your only outlet. When facing unemployment, you can reach out to family, friends, or a mentor you can trust. Having someone to talk to is a great way to process your feelings and makes it easier to maintain a positive perspective.
You’ll need time to adjust, but making a plan for moving forward ensures you don’t stay stuck. Career experts suggest:
Make time: Set aside time to job search (and separate time for other important things in your life). Schedule your job search as you would your work.
Join a Job Club: Job clubs and career centers are a great place to update your resume and cover letter, refine your job search techniques, and perfect your interviewing skills.
Network: Connecting with others is a great way to find your next job opportunity. To make it easier, you can attend networking events with friends.
Things can seem bleak after losing your job, But there’s always hope. God will never abandon you and he rewards faith during difficult times.
“Now faith is being sure of what you hope for, and certain of what you do not see. . . Anyone who comes to Him must believe that He exists, and that He rewards those who earnestly seek him.” Hebrews 11:1, 6
If you have an existing mental illness, the sudden changes that happen when you lose your job makes things even more difficult. It’s always important to avoid places and situations that could trigger addictive or harmful behaviors, but it’s good to be especially careful during this time.
When keeping the faith gets hard, don’t give into despair. TheHopeLine is here to help We can help you talk things through and plan for your success. Are you ready for a new beginning?
If you are struggling with depression, no matter the cause, to find out more and get help, check out our free eBook on Depression!
