What Advice to Give My Friend? He Wants to Quit Having Sex, but His Girlfriend Doesn’t

Justin’s friend asked him for advice. His friend wants to stop having sex with his girlfriend, because it goes against his religious beliefs. But his girlfriend doesn’t agree with him.

He's Got Personal Sexual Boundaries, She Doesn't

Dawson: You’re on the air with Dawson. What’s going on?

JUSTIN (CORINTH, MS) QUESTION:

Justin: I got a friend of mine. We’ve been friends for as long as I can remember. In the past year, he started dating this new girl. In the past couple of months, they’ve started having sex. Because of religious reasons, he’s been trying to tell her, he doesn’t want to do that anymore. But every time he tells her that, she tells him she doesn’t want to hear it, that she doesn’t want to listen to the religious stuff. He’s asked me what to do. I told him I really don’t know that I would pray for him about it.

DAWSON MCALLISTER'S ANSWER:

Dawson: Well, their relationship is dead in the water. First, they have totally different points of view from their religion. He says, “For me to have sex with you is to go against God.” That’s what he’s saying. She doesn’t buy it. Secondly, she’s asking him to do something that he feels is wrong. Yet, she’s asking him and pushing him to do it. Okay, where’s the love?

She could say, “I don’t agree with you, but out of respect for you, I’ll break up with you.” Or I don’t agree with you, but out of respect for you, I’ll go along with this.” But she’s not doing that. She’s saying, “I don’t care about your Christian values, I want sex. It’s all about me.” I’m telling you the sooner he gets out of that relationship, the better off he’s going to be.

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Need help communicating your sexual boundaries? Read How Do You Tell Someone You're Not Ready to Have Sex? 

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