Deciding to Wait? You’re Not Alone.
I am writing this blog today for the teens and young adults out there who actually think it might be worthwhile to wait until they are married to have sex. Not an easy decision to make. One that may have caused you to be ridiculed or broken up with or question your own sanity.
But let me encourage you that you are NOT alone. I believe that there are actually many teens and young adults who are making the decision to wait until they are married to have sex. If this is a choice you are making, I simply want to provide you with a little support to stay the course.
Who is Closed-Minded?
First, I would point out to anyone who is judging you for making a personal choice to wait until marriage that they are completely closed-minded. They might consider themselves open-minded to the ways of the world, but in reality they are only open-minded to people who think like they do and closed-minded to someone who might be making different choices for themselves and their body.
I am aware that others of you may be thinking, “Great another out-of-touch blog that is going to tell me to wait to have sex until I’m married. Anyone who would even suggest that is old-fashioned and backwards. I mean, if everyone is having sex, it must be just fine and totally worth it. It’s only ‘really religious’ kids who feel guilty about having sex that would actually wait.”
If that’s what you are thinking, you are free to stop reading because below I am going to give 10 reasons why it might actually be worth it to wait. Not passing judgement on anyone, just thinking it through. If you are a bit curious what reasons I might have come up with, keep reading.
For those of you who believe that saving sex for marriage may have some value, have you ever struggled to explain your choice to those who question you? Here’s some of my thoughts on the subject.
Then you could give them one or more of these reasons…
10 reasons why you CHOOSE to WAIT:
1. I live without fear of getting a Sexually Transmitted Disease. Did you know that there are 30 different diseases you can get from your sexual partner? Diseases that lead to cancer, infertility when you are older, and just plain gross stuff you need to deal with for the REST of your life. NO THANKS! Read more about STD’s here.
2. I don’t have to worry about becoming a parent before I’m ready.
3. I can live without regret from bad choices, or ‘in-the-moment’ decisions because I set a standard for myself ahead of time and was prepared to stick with it.
4. I have a high view of my body and I believe that what I choose to do with it matters.
5. I believe sex is an act of COMPLETELY giving yourself to someone, and that is something I want to save for my future spouse.
6. I believe God designed sex for marriage for a reason. He says that when people have sex they become one body and I only want to become one with one person. He designed sex to be fun, but tells us to keep it within marriage because He knows that will protect us. Click here to read more of what God says about sex.
7. I want my future marriage to succeed. Statistics show that those who save sex for marriage are more likely to succeed in marriage. It stands to reason that those who have always been sexually self-indulgent and have no practice in self-restraint will have a tougher time staying faithful.
8. I’m saving myself from extreme heart-break and emotional baggage because sex builds a deep emotional bond with someone. So when a break-up occurs it is doubly painful. Read more about this in my other blog, “A Condom for the Heart”.
9. By not rushing into sex, I have the time to really get to know the person I’m dating and build a relationship on more than physical intimacy because sex alone is never enough to hold a relationship together.
10. I know that real love will wait to have sex and I don’t want to confuse sex for love and end up having my self-esteem beat up when the relationship ends.
Any one of these 10 reasons might be a sufficient enough explanation for why you have chosen to wait, but altogether they seem to form a pretty convincing argument that there may be value in waiting.
If you have already had sex and are thinking this blog is of no use to you, I want you to know that it’s NEVER too late to make a commitment to save sex for marriage from this point forward.