How To Feel Like You're Enough for Someone

I Feel Like I Am Not Good Enough for My Boyfriend/Girlfriend

Amelia asked, "I've been with my boyfriend for about three months now and he's great, but I just feel like I'm not good enough for him. I'm 19, he's 21, and he's perfect, but I always feel like I'm being compared to his ex-girlfriend from three years ago, or that I'm just not good for him. He says that's not true, but I can't get past the feeling that he's too good for me. It's starting to affect our relationship; how do I get over this?"

I think there are a couple of issues going on here.

Too High of a Pedestal

First, you say your boyfriend is perfect. Even without knowing him, I can assure you he isn't. We always make a mistake when we make someone we care about our hero or even our god. It's great to respect your bf/gf but putting them too high on a pedestal puts way too much pressure on them and on the relationship.

Seeing each other in a more realistic light, with both strengths and weaknesses, will help your relationship to be more balanced and healthier.

What Would Make You Feel Good Enough?

But the bigger issue is you not feeling good enough for him. Likely, no matter what he tells you, you will continue to think that he brings so much more to the relationship than you do. So let me ask you, is there anything that would make you feel good enough for him? I desire that you will start seeing yourself as worthy. God has made each of us as incredibly unique individuals. If God, the creator of the universe sees you as worthy and desires a relationship with you, you should see yourself as at least equal to your boyfriend and worthy of his love. You have just as many wonderful qualities as your boyfriend, even if you're not aware of them right now.

I encourage you to read this important blog about How to Respect Yourself.

It's important for you to accept the love your boyfriend/girlfriend is giving you, and not just write it off because you don't feel you deserve it. If you continue to talk about not feeling good enough, there's a good chance your bf/gf is going to become discouraged because your relationship seems to be so negative, and move on to someone else. Stop focusing on your weaknesses and only his/her strengths. Start seeing both yourself and him or her in a more realistic light, with both strengths and weaknesses. This will help your relationship to be more balanced and healthy.

So stop worrying about your imperfections, and concentrate on loving your bf/gf. When we really love others, we end up feeling a whole lot better about ourselves.

Another question I was asked about dating along the same lines is this:

Braden asked, "Is it normal for a girl to break up for no reason? If so, why?" 

The short answer to your question is no.

Most People Don't Do Things Like Breaking Up With Someone for No Reason at All

Girls don't usually say, "Oh, it's Tuesday, I think I'll break up with my boyfriend today." It's usually a series of either events, conversations with friends, or private feelings that lead to someone breaking up with you.

Often, when a break-up happens out of the blue, it's because there's someone else who has entered the picture. Or maybe her friends are putting pressure on her to end the relationship. Sometimes you will never know the real reason. She's probably not telling you her reasons, either to protect herself or protect you from getting mad or hurt.

We will never completely understand the opposite sex, and all the reasons they feel what they feel, and do what they do.

Still, sometimes the not knowing why is more difficult than the actual break-up. I'd encourage you to let her have her reasons, whatever they may be, and not let it haunt you. If you are willing to do that, you'll find yourself learning to be a better, stronger person.

There are always going to be unanswered questions in dating relationships. We will never completely understand the opposite sex, and all the reasons they feel what they feel, and do what they do. Don't let this girl's lack of communication prevent you from being a person who chooses to be truthful and honest with the girls you date. 

Want more help with not feeling good enough? Read: This Hole in My Soul

Start Your Hope Journey Now!
Step 1:  Choose a topic
Step 2: Explore our resources
Step 3: Chat with a hope coach

More Like This

Subscribe Now

Opt-In for Texts(Required)

We will not share your information and we will only send you stuff that matters!
Quick Links

112 comments on “How To Feel Like You're Enough for Someone”

  1. Hi, Kat. Pornography is a serious issue and it has nothing to do with whether or not you are good enough or pretty enough. Please contact TheHopeLine and talk to one of our HopeCoaches about it. We are here for you 24/7. We care!

  2. hi, i have been with my boyfriend for a 7 months and i dont feel good enough for him or feel like im what he really wants. i try to be all sexy and seductive i send him pictures and even a teaser video, i dress up for him and do what he wants yet he still desires porn and porn stars. its like im trying to be the only woman for him and doing everything i can to make him desire me but he doesnt. he doesnt even askme for these things so its like hes not interested at all!! i dont want to leave him because of this but it makes me so down. and im already depressed due to other personal things but how to i get better and feel better about myself when my own partner doesnt want me.

  3. Stop looking for anyone. But be content and confident in who you are. Because you're perfectly and beautifully made, you don't "need" someone else to fulfill you.

  4. Hi. So I like this guy A LOT. And he's really sweet and funny but I just keep constantly telling myself that he will never like me, he's too good for me and I'll never be what he wants. I don't know how to feel more confident and worthy when I'm around him .

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published.

Tired of The Problem?  Try the Solution.

Privacy Policy / Terms of Use
© 2022 TheHopeLine, Inc. Registered 501(c)(3). EIN: 20-1198064
© 2021 core.oxyninja.com. Powered by OxyNinja Core
magnifiercrosschevron-down