How To Rebuild A Bad Reputation

Maybe you've made some bad choices, and the gossipers are now using them against you. Our reputation can be harmed when we make poor choices at work or school, or when we hurt others in our relationships.

Perhaps you struggle with the same relationship problems over and over, or you keep falling back into harmful or addictive behaviors. All that has an impact on your reputation.

Or maybe someone is making up lies about you, simply trying to hurt you.

Gossiping is such a popular way for people to spend their time, and tragically, the damage it can do spreads like a virus, until someone's reputation is seriously damaged.

You may feel like there's no chance to counteract the horrible things they are saying. It's going to take some time, but trust me, the good news is, you can rebuild your reputation and you can recover.

Here are some ideas on how to do it:

Ignore the Negative

It is very important to stop listening to all the bad things being said about you it will only bring you down and leave you feeling discouraged and hopeless.

That was Sarah's experience: I was driving myself crazy, listening or even trying to imagine what other people were saying about me. I had to stop. Then I could finally move on.

Plan out your Future Self

Figure out what kind of person you want to be, and then work on showing that to other people. You're well aware of how you don't want people to view you. How do you want them to view you? And why?

Find a Friend you can Confide in

Find one other person you can talk to who will remind you of the person you want to be and believes the best about you. If you can't find anyone, be that person for yourself.

Are your friends adding to, or taking away, from your reputation?

Devon commented: Until I could find a good friend, I had to keep telling myself over and over I am not the person they say I am. I'm a good person and though I'm not perfect, I'm working on getting better.

Be Honest about your Mistakes

If the source of the gossip is rooted in truth, let people (especially the people you care about the most) know what is true, but that you want to change. Then, over time, go about proving it to them!
Time will usually heal a lot of difficult situations.

A New Group of Friends?

Figure out if you need a new group of friends.  Are your friends adding value to, or taking away, from your reputation? If they are affecting your reputation in a negative way, you don't have to neglect, or start talking badly about them, but you might want to add some new people into your life people who are known to say encouraging and positive things.

Misty said: I found out from another friend that the people I was hanging out with were only hurting my reputation. I still care about them, but I need to be careful about what influence they might be having on me.

Show you care about Other People

Smile, and be nice to people you see. Take a genuine interest in what other people are doing or thinking. People always appreciate someone who seems to care. You'll find that people will be drawn to you, and less likely to talk badly about you.

Simply being nice to others gives you a chance to feel good about yourself, win new friends, and allow existing acquaintances to, eventually, reconsider their thoughts about you.

Make a little change

Sometimes changing something as simple as your hairstyle or your clothes will make a ton of difference in how people view you. Be creative, and don't be afraid to conform just a little bit to what seems to be the current looks.

Don't ever try to turn into something you are not!

Be patient

It takes time to build a good reputation. And even more time to rebuild a damaged one. In time, the truth about you will be known. A good reputation is hard to destroy. Who you are as a person speaks for itself. Besides, sometimes people go on with their own lives, and forget what was said about you.

David had this experience: I had people saying bad things about me. But after a while, people just kind of forgot about it. You just have to be patient and stay confident.

An additional tip to help you rebuild your reputation

If you're feeling like you need to rebuild your reputation, ask your close friends or family what they see to be your positive or negative traits. What do they think would be beneficial for you to adjust, in order to help improve your reputation?

No matter what you do to rebuild your reputation, don't ever try to turn into something you are not. Just remember to be true to yourself, and honest to your closest friends. As you seek to live the best life you can, you will be able to hold your head held high no matter what other people say about you.

Rebuild a bad reputation also by working on your self-esteem. It's possible to change what you and others think about you.

Dawson McAllister
Dawson McAllister, also known as America's youth pastor, was an author, radio host, speaker, and founder of TheHopeLine. McAllister attended Bethel College in Minnesota for undergraduate work where he graduated in 1968, began graduate studies at Talbot School of Theology in California, and received an honorary doctorate from Biola University.
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87 comments on “How To Rebuild A Bad Reputation”

  1. I accidentally liked an inappropriate picture on Instagram, everyone says I a perv my reputation is ruined!!!!
    Please I need help, Im 14 yrs old an jr. High is brutal with these kinds of things.

  2. I had best friends for a long time until I left for college and came back. Idk what happened I kept in touch. But after one bad date in my home town and after refusing to sleep with a guy- they all took the guys side who didn't even grow up here.
    They pretty much said they liked him better and spread Rumers about me being a hoe... it's very hard to live in this town now. I'm literally moving away and haven't told anyone where to be honest besides a family member where. I don't know who to trust or who says nasty things behind my back.

  3. i have dated 4-5 guys, i don't know where i went wrong, few rumours are made about me on bed which is not true.
    people call me a slut for this.
    i need to build up a good reputation and actually make people believe what the truth is
    please help me and suggest how i should go about it?

    1. Believe in ur self and wait for the write guy to approach you. Engage in positive activities such as excersise or yoga. Feel good about ur self and be confident in what your doing.

    2. first of all, why you went for 4-5 guys?? just be a single man girl....... try to believe in true love and if you love someone then don't ever look or think about any other guy for dating or anything else.... your reputation will become nice and sweet itself. ALL THE BEST.

  4. I have slept with a number of men of whom most I thought I would end up dating but nothing, some of these guys I would deal simultaneously. I also had a bad friend who I had to let go of because she was also reflecting bad on me as she was worse with the sleeping around.
    I feel bad because I have since changed and in an honest relationship with someone who really loves me and I love him (despite him having 4 kids from 2 different women already and I a son). I am no longer that girl. But he was told by two people already to be 'very very careful' with me. I don't know how I can relieve his fear as I have been nothing but faithful and will continue to be.
    You can call me what you want but I know deep down I am no longer so belittling of myself.... What I wanted to know though....is it too late?

  5. I ruined my reputation by being in a relationship with a girl that has lot of lies and talks a lot mostly bad things about me, and we separated then she in a relationship with my friend's friend

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