How To Rebuild A Bad Reputation

Maybe you've made some bad choices, and the gossipers are now using them against you. Our reputation can be harmed when we make poor choices at work or school, or when we hurt others in our relationships.

Perhaps you struggle with the same relationship problems over and over, or you keep falling back into harmful or addictive behaviors. All that has an impact on your reputation.

Or maybe someone is making up lies about you, simply trying to hurt you.

Gossiping is such a popular way for people to spend their time, and tragically, the damage it can do spreads like a virus, until someone's reputation is seriously damaged.

You may feel like there's no chance to counteract the horrible things they are saying. It's going to take some time, but trust me, the good news is, you can rebuild your reputation and you can recover.

Here are some ideas on how to do it:

Ignore the Negative

It is very important to stop listening to all the bad things being said about you it will only bring you down and leave you feeling discouraged and hopeless.

That was Sarah's experience: I was driving myself crazy, listening or even trying to imagine what other people were saying about me. I had to stop. Then I could finally move on.

Plan out your Future Self

Figure out what kind of person you want to be, and then work on showing that to other people. You're well aware of how you don't want people to view you. How do you want them to view you? And why?

Find a Friend you can Confide in

Find one other person you can talk to who will remind you of the person you want to be and believes the best about you. If you can't find anyone, be that person for yourself.

Are your friends adding to, or taking away, from your reputation?

Devon commented: Until I could find a good friend, I had to keep telling myself over and over I am not the person they say I am. I'm a good person and though I'm not perfect, I'm working on getting better.

Be Honest about your Mistakes

If the source of the gossip is rooted in truth, let people (especially the people you care about the most) know what is true, but that you want to change. Then, over time, go about proving it to them!
Time will usually heal a lot of difficult situations.

A New Group of Friends?

Figure out if you need a new group of friends.  Are your friends adding value to, or taking away, from your reputation? If they are affecting your reputation in a negative way, you don't have to neglect, or start talking badly about them, but you might want to add some new people into your life people who are known to say encouraging and positive things.

Misty said: I found out from another friend that the people I was hanging out with were only hurting my reputation. I still care about them, but I need to be careful about what influence they might be having on me.

Show you care about Other People

Smile, and be nice to people you see. Take a genuine interest in what other people are doing or thinking. People always appreciate someone who seems to care. You'll find that people will be drawn to you, and less likely to talk badly about you.

Simply being nice to others gives you a chance to feel good about yourself, win new friends, and allow existing acquaintances to, eventually, reconsider their thoughts about you.

Make a little change

Sometimes changing something as simple as your hairstyle or your clothes will make a ton of difference in how people view you. Be creative, and don't be afraid to conform just a little bit to what seems to be the current looks.

Don't ever try to turn into something you are not!

Be patient

It takes time to build a good reputation. And even more time to rebuild a damaged one. In time, the truth about you will be known. A good reputation is hard to destroy. Who you are as a person speaks for itself. Besides, sometimes people go on with their own lives, and forget what was said about you.

David had this experience: I had people saying bad things about me. But after a while, people just kind of forgot about it. You just have to be patient and stay confident.

An additional tip to help you rebuild your reputation

If you're feeling like you need to rebuild your reputation, ask your close friends or family what they see to be your positive or negative traits. What do they think would be beneficial for you to adjust, in order to help improve your reputation?

No matter what you do to rebuild your reputation, don't ever try to turn into something you are not. Just remember to be true to yourself, and honest to your closest friends. As you seek to live the best life you can, you will be able to hold your head held high no matter what other people say about you.

Rebuild a bad reputation also by working on your self-esteem. It's possible to change what you and others think about you.

Dawson McAllister
Dawson McAllister, also known as America's youth pastor, was an author, radio host, speaker, and founder of TheHopeLine. McAllister attended Bethel College in Minnesota for undergraduate work where he graduated in 1968, began graduate studies at Talbot School of Theology in California, and received an honorary doctorate from Biola University.
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87 comments on “How To Rebuild A Bad Reputation”

  1. I did some bad things recently and I overheard my colleagues talk and laugh about me - I feel as though they know something and I'm fearful that it's the one thing that is terrible. I can't stop thinking about it - I feel betrayed but mostly shameful. I am generally a very kind and helpful person - so I hope that by following the above advice I can restore my reputation so that the good in me can somehow cover up for the bad. I've decided to just keep to myself and do my job - I hate myself right now and I would that the mountains could just fall on me or that I just become extinct both mind and body.

    1. Ive felt that before. Maybe you feel pressure to be perfect? You need to give yourself a break. Think of someone you know who is medium popular. They have friends and deserve respect, right? Are they perfect? How do they handle when they've f'd up? I bet they don't whip themselves. It's hard when you take 'being good' so seriously, but you need to forgive yourself and then the next person who alludes to your f up, remember they are not perfect and can only make you feel bad if you let them. What's more, they are being hypocritical. Most likely if they're holding on to your mistake they're using you to make themselves feel superior. They are not. Chin up. You are a worthy deserving person.

  2. so basically , there's rumors going around about me sleeping with someone which is true , but people are adding things on to it . I'm only a freshman ! & to make it even worse , the guy I slept with is going around himself saying it ! I slept with him like a month ago though , & people are bringing it up now ! when I'm trying to get serious with someone . now they all think im a joke & are saying ' I gave head to half the town ' which isn't even true . & the guy I'm trying to get serious with is slowing falling back . & I know why . someone help .

  3. Hii, my HR executive is completely in my opposition. due to some rumours about me and my work, my reputation has become so bad in my office. Due to this , i have been transferred to an undesirable department. I am a post graduate engineer but i am doing the work of an ordinary graduate employee now a days. How can i rebuild my bad reputation and get shifted to a desirable department again? please help me !!

  4. I accidentally made someone cry during a debate in Social Studies. Now, half of my school thinks I'm a jerk. I've convinced most people that I'm a good person, but there are still some who think I am an ass.

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