Maybe you've made some bad choices, and the gossipers are now using them against you. Our reputation can be harmed when we make poor choices at work or school, or when we hurt others in our relationships.
Perhaps you struggle with the same relationship problems over and over, or you keep falling back into harmful or addictive behaviors. All that has an impact on your reputation.
Or maybe someone is making up lies about you, simply trying to hurt you.
Gossiping is such a popular way for people to spend their time, and tragically, the damage it can do spreads like a virus, until someone's reputation is seriously damaged.
You may feel like there's no chance to counteract the horrible things they are saying. It's going to take some time, but trust me, the good news is, you can rebuild your reputation and you can recover.
Here are some ideas on how to do it:
Ignore the Negative
It is very important to stop listening to all the bad things being said about you it will only bring you down and leave you feeling discouraged and hopeless.
That was Sarah's experience: I was driving myself crazy, listening or even trying to imagine what other people were saying about me. I had to stop. Then I could finally move on.
Plan out your Future Self
Figure out what kind of person you want to be, and then work on showing that to other people. You're well aware of how you don't want people to view you. How do you want them to view you? And why?
Find a Friend you can Confide in
Find one other person you can talk to who will remind you of the person you want to be and believes the best about you. If you can't find anyone, be that person for yourself.
Are your friends adding to, or taking away, from your reputation?
Devon commented: Until I could find a good friend, I had to keep telling myself over and over I am not the person they say I am. I'm a good person and though I'm not perfect, I'm working on getting better.
Be Honest about your Mistakes
If the source of the gossip is rooted in truth, let people (especially the people you care about the most) know what is true, but that you want to change. Then, over time, go about proving it to them!
Time will usually heal a lot of difficult situations.
A New Group of Friends?
Figure out if you need a new group of friends. Are your friends adding value to, or taking away, from your reputation? If they are affecting your reputation in a negative way, you don't have to neglect, or start talking badly about them, but you might want to add some new people into your life people who are known to say encouraging and positive things.
Misty said: I found out from another friend that the people I was hanging out with were only hurting my reputation. I still care about them, but I need to be careful about what influence they might be having on me.
Show you care about Other People
Smile, and be nice to people you see. Take a genuine interest in what other people are doing or thinking. People always appreciate someone who seems to care. You'll find that people will be drawn to you, and less likely to talk badly about you.
Simply being nice to others gives you a chance to feel good about yourself, win new friends, and allow existing acquaintances to, eventually, reconsider their thoughts about you.
Make a little change
Sometimes changing something as simple as your hairstyle or your clothes will make a ton of difference in how people view you. Be creative, and don't be afraid to conform just a little bit to what seems to be the current looks.
Don't ever try to turn into something you are not!
Be patient
It takes time to build a good reputation. And even more time to rebuild a damaged one. In time, the truth about you will be known. A good reputation is hard to destroy. Who you are as a person speaks for itself. Besides, sometimes people go on with their own lives, and forget what was said about you.
David had this experience: I had people saying bad things about me. But after a while, people just kind of forgot about it. You just have to be patient and stay confident.
An additional tip to help you rebuild your reputation
If you're feeling like you need to rebuild your reputation, ask your close friends or family what they see to be your positive or negative traits. What do they think would be beneficial for you to adjust, in order to help improve your reputation?
No matter what you do to rebuild your reputation, don't ever try to turn into something you are not. Just remember to be true to yourself, and honest to your closest friends. As you seek to live the best life you can, you will be able to hold your head held high no matter what other people say about you.
Rebuild a bad reputation also by working on your self-esteem. It's possible to change what you and others think about you.
one morning I woke up, left home, & didn't come back. met a man, had sex with him & he was supposed to take care of me. he left me with two guys I didn't even know. one of them wanted to rape me, but the other one stopped him. I ended up having sex because I thought that if I did it willingly then I wouldn't have to get raped. the guy I had sex with was the one who stopped his friend from raping me. he looked me in my eyes and all he kept telling me was that I was lost. I didn't knowhow h knew but he called me out on the spot and I just cried and cried in his arms all night. I KNOW he fell in love with me. I gained a soft spot in the heart of a dope dealer, i could tell the way he looked at me. The attraction was immortal, but i couldnt be there because i knew that if i stayed his friend would find a way to rape me. The next morning I left while he was still sleeping without a word. And my journey continued. I don't wanna be judged. I say these thing to help. im readin some of these comments below and its really NOTHING compared to what ALOT of people are going though. Not saying my life is more important that anyone else, but be happy its not as bad as comments that will NEVER be listed below. like seriously. it can be worse. it will be okay. this my first time sharing my story you guys, and I always was too embarrassed today something, but I did, and it was for yall. Anybody taking the time to rad it. It is okay . #tupaclovesyou
Wow..that sounds almost exactly like something I went through in my teenage years...I'm now almost 40 years old and still making horrible choices...
I met a female younger coworker at a retail store that I worked and now she has blacklisted me all over town.
With her mothers help in the Christian community all over the city where I live.making up lies about and getting people to hate me.
thats unfortunate
I amvery disapointed and confused because someone I dated for 7 months backstabbed me after we had romantic interaction..Now he opened his mouth without a filter and i feel very embarrassed all this happened and he basically burned my reputation and i even lost my job. Ijust know that guy is a coward and that i learned my lesson. but even worse..im starting to get confused because i fell for him and its taking me more time to let go..which is a must but i find it difficult.
Right now a pretty bad rumor about something I did is being spread about me in school. It's very hard for me to go a day without thinking about what could happen in the future when more and more people find out. It's hard not to question whether people will still like me or suddenly be disappointed in me because another rumor was spread about me a few years ago, so people were finally starting to trust me, but as the other rumor arose I was afraid people would mentally destroy me again. I know that what I did was terrible, but people can change. I for one am out of the faze that caused me to make the mistake (in which I'm not going to mention), and I will never go back to it. For now on I am trying to completely ignore anything that could trigger the faze I used to be in. I really hope this won't drag on with me being swept down a road filled with awful thoughts and abuse. As a person that has been going through severe depression, stress, anxiety, etc. for months now, I only found out about this situation a month ago, and when it hit me, I was panicked out of my mind...it seriously added another ton of stress onto my shoulder(s). I have so much more to say about this, and what it has literally done to me. I am basically a different person now, and by that...I mean that I have become more suicidal than ever, and actually very violent... Also, I suffer from many other problems that I can't mention, and then again...when this rumor came about I couldn't focus on the problems that I was on the peak-edge of fixing completely. If anybody reads this, I more than know how you are feeling if a rumor is being spread about you, and I seriously feel you because it's probably one of the worst types of bullying... But unfortunately, it hasn't been recognized much. 😔 I pray for anyone suffering from this, and I wish I could support you because I also know how it feels to have no support. 😢💞
Im 16 and im very shy around girls,my classmates takes this as an opportunity and spread rumors about me around the whole town,they gossip about my family,and now my family's reputation is ruined because of me