My Ex Won't Leave Me Alone! Steps to Take

Breaking up with your boyfriend or girlfriend is hard to do. But it's even more difficult when your ex won't leave you alone after the breakup. I figure there are at least two different reasons why an ex won't let go. Either they want to get back together with you, or they are just trying to get back at you.

When they don't get the message your relationship is over, you will have to clarify again exactly how you feel.

Clarify the Message that the Relationship is Over

When they don't get the message your relationship is over, you will have to clarify again exactly how you feel. Try not to approach this difficult issue when you're frustrated or angry. However, the more clear and direct you can be, the better. But remember, always be kind. Sooner or later, your ex will get the message.

Clarify the Boundaries

It is important to establish boundaries for yourself. While you're working on letting things cool down between you and your ex, try to avoid places and situations where you know he/she might be. If it gets to a point where you are continually made to feel uncomfortable, it might become necessary to talk directly to him/her again. Be prepared to say exactly what he/she is doing and how it makes you feel.

You might even want to take a friend with you when you talk to him/her. You need to be confident in this situation, as your ex might be looking for hope that you want to get back together. This is the time to be firm because you really want them to get the message. This is not the time or argue or fight. You are merely communicating your boundaries.

You may be tempted to go back into the relationship because you think you remember how good it felt to have somebody.

Get Back into a Relationship with an Ex?

You may be tempted to go back into the relationship because you think you remember how good it felt to have somebody. This is especially true if you have been sexual with each other, or you feel sorry for the other person. If you have one or two close friends, tell them why you are breaking up with your ex and ask them to remind you why you broke up when you start thinking about getting back together again.

Listen to my call with Vanessa who's pregnant and still has feelings for her baby's father who cheated on her and pulled a knife on her mom.

I also talked to Ty who says: My bf is an alcoholic, drug abuser and other things. But I don't know how to break up with him because every time I try to he gets VERY suicidal. I have to stay with him but I can't because it hurts me too much seeing him like this. I asked him to stop drinking and he said he would, but he hasn't, and I'm afraid that if he keeps doing this it's going to get to where he might hurt me.

Act Like an Adult and Firmly End It

Kalya says it's been three months since she left her boyfriend and he continues to provoke her. Her advice is priceless: When it's time to let go, do it, there can be no comparing or second-guessing, it just has to be done, especially if you are unhappy and worry all the time. You should not have to babysit your lover.

By communicating firmly and directly, you are acting like an adult. This kind of behavior will lead your ex to increase their respect for you, and finally get the message that you are no longer interested in having a relationship with them. 

Are You in Danger From Your Stalking Ex?

If you feel like your situation is dangerous, please tell someone...a parent, trusted advisor, principal, friend or even the police. Sometimes serious measures must be taken to free yourself from a troubled ex. Don't wait until it's too late.

Listen to my call with Candice. The father of Candice's son hit her mom and won't leave her alone. She has a restraining order against him but he keeps trying to come to her house and he's called her over 200 times in the past month.

Be Strong

You don't need to face this struggle alone.  God promises that He is with us and will help us whatever the struggle.  He tells us to be strong and not afraid because HE IS WITH US.

"Be strong and courageous. Do not be frightened, and do not be dismayed, for the Lord your God is with you wherever you go.” Joshua 1:9

Don't back down from what you know is right for you. Ask God to give you the strength you need.

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139 comments on “My Ex Won't Leave Me Alone! Steps to Take”

  1. I moved out of my ex boyfriends and changed my number I moved on I found someone that I love I blocked my ex boyfriend from social media. But that's not enough I got a message from one of my ex's friends saying my ex boyfriend wanted to talk to me i blocked that friend I also blocked my ex boyfriends girlfriend/baby mama. I thought I got rid of my ex for good then I went on my YouTube channel to see if I got any more followers or likes and I see I have a message so I look at it it say hi this is wes. Wes is my ex so I blocked him and deleted his number. I am scared to go out cuz I scared to run into him or someone he knows so when I go out I have to make sure that I am not recognizable or make sure I have a ride and that my phone is fully charged so I could call the police if I have 2 or call my boyfriend I'm just scared that he has somebody watching me and I don't know what to do.

      1. clearly they don’t want to. which is completely okay he should get the point and leave her alone not make her life miserable because she has to worry about him stalking her

        1. Get what point? She is toxic, she clearly ghosted the guy to get him to chase. It seems like she's just seeking validation. When a person wants it to be over they just communicate it and leave it at that.

          1. how is she toxic? she changed her number. she moved on with her life. she has a new boyfriend. she has blocked any connection to her ex. she wants to be left the alone. he needs to take the hint and let it be.


  3. Idk what to do my ex broke up with me but won’t leave me alone comes back to say he’s sorry and that he wants me but when I give In he acts like he doesn’t want me and puts me down only time he happy if we had sex or I gave him money but I stop the sex and money and things just got worse I’m just really over him trying to come back in my life any type of way

  4. My daughter divorced her husband in September because he is a drug addict. In Nov he got into the house and tried to choke her to death luckily my 22 yr old grandson was there and heard her screaming, so he busted the door down a fight ensued and my grandson wound up with a broken wrist. The police were called and the x was arrested and charged with Aggravated family violence with injury, terriost threat (said he had put a bomb under her car). Since then he has bombarded my daughter daily to the point she blocked his cell phone so now he emails her daily. She has installed an extensive alarm system with cameras. He has been at the house several times banging on the door, throwing bottles at her windows and saying all kinds of nasty things. Yes she had a protective order that expired when the divorce was final, but we know they really aren’t worth anything. They also have a 15 yr old daughter who has now told him she doesn’t want to talk to him ever again, needless to say that hasn’t made things any easier. He is set to go to court on Mon and they have offered him 20 months problem is that I am so worried for all of them and I don’t know what to do. My daughters birthday is the 18th and he has already told her he has something for her and it wasn’t in a nice way. The guy owns a lot of guns and is totally unstable. My daughter lives in fear all the time and I’m seriously afraid he could be one of those terrible ex’s that shoots them all. The police can’t do anything until he does something which of corse could be too late. She’s not even going to stay at her house on the 18th because of his threat. So we hear these stories all the time and ppl say they had no idea he was like that...what options do I have because I know he’s capable of doing very bad things if he gets high enough it’s no telling. I don’t want it to be the after effect that they wish he could have been stopped. There has to be something that can be done no one should have to live their life like this because they married the wrong man. I would be forever grateful if someone has a solution for this or can steer me towards somebody who can help. They are my only family left and can’t even imagine life without them.. this man is seriously crazy and needs to be locked up where he can’t hurt anyone. My daughter said she hoped they don’t give him jail time because when he gets out he will make her life worse. It’s such a sad sad situation.
    I thank anyone wh has some helpful advice..

    1. Hi Cheril,
      I know you posted this a while back now. Is everything ok? I sure hope so! I can’t imag what you must be feeling, it’s so scary. I think the only option is to move your family away and not let him know where you guys are.

  5. My Fiancé and I are very happy in our relationship and have been trying to get what we need for a wedding. His ex girlfriend keeps trying to talk to him and get him back and trying to get it so I can not contact her about it we feel harassed and bothered. What can we do to get this to end? We tried telling her but she ain't listening 🙁

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