Do you know someone who struggles with anger? You probably don’t have to look any further than your own mirror. I’ve written about what anger is, and now I’m asking the question, why do we get angry?
We get angry based on our reaction to a variety of things, people, circumstances, memories, or personal problems, just to name a few. It can also be a response to a single event, or a reaction to numerous events. What makes you angry? Here are some reasons people have sent me:
Shawnee wrote: What makes me angry? Being ignored.
Ali wrote: Fake people and liars.
Jake wrote: Trying hard at something and failing.
Ashley wrote: I hate it when people criticize me and have no idea what I go through.
Michael wrote: Being nice to people, only to have them be mean to me.
Jane wrote: Not being able to control my emotions.
When you feel anger, it’s easy to want to lash out to get back at whatever, or whoever, has hurt you. Unfortunately, we all know that anger can get out of control and become destructive, causing a ton of problems.
So why do we get angry?
- We get angry when our expectations are not met. When something doesn’t go the way we think it should, we try to take control over the out of control situation with anger.
Chells wrote: Usually I don’t get angry much, however, being accused of things will set me off big time.
- We also get angry when we feel we’re being threatened. And it may or may not be a real situation. We’ve all seen a person get angry about something that isn’t a real threat at all. For example: the guy at a bar who gets in a fight with another guy because, He looked at me funny, when the other guy didn’t even know he was there. People carry a lot of emotional baggage into certain situations, making them feel more threatened than they need to feel.
- Additionally, some angry people carry their resentments and rage around with them at all times, creating an environment that makes other people be more aggressive toward them, just enhancing the whole anger cycle. These are the kinds of people who have a very short fuse, and any number of things will set them off.
Here are some other reasons why people might get angry. Maybe you have experienced some of these, too:
- Grief – losing a loved one.
- Withdrawal from drugs or some medications
- Some physical conditions, such as PMS
- Physical illness
- Mental illness
- Alcohol, some drugs, alcohol abuse, drug abuse
- Being teased or bullied
- Traffic jams
- Sloppy service
- Financial problems
- Being told you have a serious illness
The fact is, just about anything can trigger an angry reaction. Monica said, I get angry very often. And quite frankly I don’t know how to deal with my anger. I bottle it up inside and every so often it all comes out.
Remember, even though anger will most likely be a part of the rest of your life, you don’t have to let it control you. In my next blog let’s talk about ways to manage your anger.