Lucy wrote to us at TheHopeLine® about a chat she had with a HopeCoach.
I was about to self-harm and I didn't know where to turn so I went on here (TheHopeLine.com/gethelp) and this girl, a HopeCoach named Emily, talked with me. I was going to cut myself that day and she talked me out of it. I was lucky that she was there because when I cut myself it was bad. I'm clean now and its all thanks to her.
A special thanks to Emily and TheHopeLine®!
-Lucy
Related Posts:
A Door of Hope
Why Do People Self-Harm?
Real Story: Artist Michaela Hatfield
How To Quit Cutting
If you or someone you know struggles with self-harm, download TheHopeLine's free eBook: Understanding Self-Harm. You can also connect with our partners at Door of Hope. You are not alone.
"I feel happier!" I was just going to say, thank all of ya'll for the help. Now, I'm not starving myself anymore, I've been eating more. Unfortunately, I haven't gained any weight, but I feel better and have tons of energy. I've gotten my depression and anxiety under control, without drugs. I haven't been suicidal anymore.
I have opened up more to my parents and been telling the truth. I have a better relationship with my parents, siblings, and to God. I have given God my problems now and I've been reading my Bible and praying daily and more to God. And, I've been clean from cutting for two days now.
I feel happier now and like my life is back on track. Thank you for all of the help 🙂
-Hannah
If you struggle with self-harm, depression, or an eating disorder, TheHopeLine® is here to help. Check out TheHopeLine's eBooks and chat with a HopeCoach.
This is an urgent prayer request...Dawson's 25-year-old son Fulton was involved in a serious traffic accident on Saturday. He suffered severe head trauma and is in a coma. The doctors said their #1 job is to reduce the life-threatening swelling on his brain. They have listed his chances of survival as 60/40 but indicate that the longer he survives the better his chances become. Please pray for Fulton, for Dawson, for their entire family. Please feel free to share this with all those you know who would be willing to pray.
Since that day, I have sent updates every week to my very faithful prayer champions, and I continue to do so today. I know without a doubt that the power of prayer has gotten us through to this point. Along the way, I have learned some very important lessons about prayer. I want to share a few of those with you today along with excerpts from my prayer journal that I have e-mailed to my prayer champions:
1. The ONLY source of real hope in times of trouble is to bring our burdens to God in prayer, trusting that God is good and in control of everything.
December 17, 2010 (One week after the accident)
I am fighting battles with grief and anxiety, but God has been faithful to give me peace that He is working all things together for good. I will never be the same. There is a huge ache in my heart, but I have handed my son over to the Lord and told him that whatever brings Him the most honor and glory are what I want from this.
January 7, 2011
I went to the studio Sunday night, put on my headphones and took calls from teenagers and young adults like I have every week for 20 years. Do I have moments of fear and anxiety? Of course, but these moments have been dwarfed by my confidence that God is sovereign and in full control. How is it that I could stay calm and strong? Your prayers!
January 14, 2011
I was given a quote that spoke to me, "There is nothing - no circumstance, no trouble, no testing - that can ever touch me until, first of all, it has gone past God and past Christ, right through to me. If it has come that far, it has come with great purpose, which I may not understand at the moment; but as I refuse to become panicky, as I lift my eyes up to Him and accept it as coming from the throne of God for some great purpose of blessing to my own heart, no sorrow will ever disturb me, no trial will ever disarm me, no circumstance will cause me to fret, for I shall rest in the joy of what my Lord is." Alan Redpath.
2. Spill your heart out to God in prayer...even when you're angry.
December 16, 2011
A year has passed, and as I thought back to that awful morning a year ago, I burst into tears and sobbed uncontrollably. I wish I could tell you they were tears of joy or hope or even of thankfulness for the progress Fulton has made, but they were not. Instead, they were tears of anger, resentment, and fear. I even regressed further and asked the most basic plea of all, "God, why me?" The simple answer to that plea is, why not me? God owes us nothing but judgment.
Sometimes people come up to me and tell me how amazed they are at how strong we have been. This is very kind of them to say but they don't realize the many failures along the way. So, after regaining my composure, I confessed to God my ungratefulness and lack of faith. He comforted me and soon I was dressed and ready to go work with my son at the rehab center. We had a great day together.
September 19, 2014
I hope you are having a great day. Got to hang on to the good ones and reinterpret the ones that aren't. This heartache with Fulton has taught me many things. For example, it is easy to really get angry at God for what has happened. I always thought I would grow past this blatant show of self-centeredness and faithlessness, but sometimes I don't. I am trying to find practical ways to get past this stumbling block because to stay angry at God puts me in a very dark place.
3. Offer prayers of Thanksgiving in the midst of your struggles.
September 19, 2014
One thing I am trying to do when anger comes is replace it with as many thanks to God as I can possibly think of. For example, I thank God that:
Giving thanks and praising God wipes away the tears of hurt, anger, and heartache. Sometimes I don't want to thank God; I just want to stay stuck in my rage. But what a gracious God we have, who delivers us from the dark times and puts thankfulness in our hearts.
June 10, 2011
It can be difficult, to say the least, watching Fulton suffer day in and day out. It is easy to look on the dark side of the situation and become depressed and withdrawn. This is not what God would have us do.
I received a message on my Facebook page from a woman who heard about Fulton's tragedy. She wrote: "In the end, everything will be ok. If it's not ok, then it's not the end! Chin up Dawson! You have a whole lot to be thankful for, you can still tell your son 'I love you', you can still watch him breathe while he sleeps, you can still see his face every day, etc. You have a miracle already happening right in front of you! EVERYTHING happens for a reason!" Her post really spoke to me. There is so much to be thankful for in this crisis. God is at work in ways we will never understand, but He is doing some wonderful things all around us.
4. God hears everyone's prayers...Not just the super-Christians.
April 8, 2011
Several youth groups came last week to the nursing home to hear our story and meet Fulton. It was very moving as we wheeled him out in front of the audience. After the meeting, my son was taken back to his room and put to bed. Two older teenage guys approached me and asked if they could go back to Fulton's room to pray for him. These guys were pretty rough characters, but so what? They wanted to pray for my son. One of the boys prayed quietly, the other prayed out loud. It was one of the most loving prayers I have ever witnessed. As he prayed for Fulton he patted him on the shoulder and neck to show his love and respect for him. Later I found out these young guys had only been Christians for two weeks. I got to thinking how love never fails and God heard their prayers as much as the greatest Theologian who ever lived. It was a moment I will never forget.
5. Surround yourself with people who will pray for you.
July 29, 2011
Crunch time comes in the middle of a crisis and only the strong survive. By strong, I mean those who are prayed for, encouraged by God's Word, and have strong people around them.
My son hasn't stood up in seven months. He has either been in bed or in a wheelchair. Recently the staff at the nursing home announced that they were going to help Fulton stand. The rehab people use what they call a "standing table." As I watched him positioned at the standing table, I noticed something else - It took five people to help hold him in place to support him. It was quite a sight to see. Then I got to thinking, "God wants us to stand... but not alone." Even when we can't support ourselves in our life's struggles, He will hold us up and send people to help us stand.
August 23, 2013
At an event this week, several people came to me wanting to know all about Fulton. I was amazed at many of them who assured me they were praying for Fulton on a daily basis. I was so encouraged. Think of the thousands of prayers offered up for Fulton. It has and will make a significant difference in his life.
I hope you will get to experience the tremendous encouragement from those who daily pray for you and listen to God for His response. There's nothing quite like it.
January 10, 2014
In no way has our family had to face this ordeal alone. So many people have sent messages assuring me of their prayer and support. One woman in particular deeply touched me when she wrote, I heard about Fulton on the radio and I immediately pulled off the road to pray for him. What a beautiful picture of love; one woman in her car on the side of the road praying. No one driving by that night knew what she was doing, but God certainly did. And He answered her prayer.
6. Don't give up. Pray continually even when change isn't obvious.
February 18, 2011
I found myself muttering to God, "come on, God, do something!" It was then I realized I was having a patience problem. As good as God has been to my family and me, I wanted Him to do more and I wanted it then. In fact, I wanted everything on my time table. God made it clear to me I was failing the 'wait on God' test.
It's hard to wait on the Lord because when we do, we are saying we have no control over the situation. All we can do is pray and wait. That in itself takes courage and faith. I believe my son will talk again. But rest assured when he does, it will be on God's timing - not mine, and it will be the best time ever. It will be on God's clock.
August 17, 2012
I am finding that Fulton's very slow recovery has exposed gaps in my thinking. For example, there is the saying, pray until something happens. It is a Biblical thought. To me it means never give up...you pray and fight, believing God is at work and will bring whatever miracles you need, which in my case is Fulton's healing.
I think God does not want us to be satisfied with the broken things of this world. He wants us to do all we can to repair and redeem broken things wherever we find them. But in the midst of our struggle to do this, he patiently calls us to trust him...to be so confident in his loving faithfulness that we are at peace with what he gives or allows each day. So how do we reconcile our struggles with God's trustworthiness? How do we come to this peace? Only one way; PRAYER.
Don't worry about anything; instead, pray about everything. Tell God what you need and thank him for all he has done. Then you will experience God's peace, which exceeds anything we can understand. His peace will guard your hearts and minds as you live in Christ Jesus. (Philippians 4:6-7 NIV)
God says pray militantly, and He will give us peace. Put another way, do what God says and rest in it. Let God deal with the space between hope and reality.
September 25, 2014
I trust all is well with you today. I was thinking the other day about what has impressed me the most during this long journey: It's the continual, consistent, persevering prayers you have offered up for my son. Which begs the question: as beautiful as those prayers are, have they been answered? Not all (yet), but many more than I first imagined.
For example,
All of these answered prayers are just the tip of the iceberg. But God has made it clear; He has answered those many persevering prayers.
7. Prayer brings victory.
July 15, 2011
Six months have passed since Fulton's accident. And this week was good. A friend of mine was teaching Fulton how to kick-box from his wheelchair. I was so excited that I went and found one of the main nurses to come watch. While we were watching him kick away, he suddenly broke into a full-fledged smile. The smile was not contorted in any way and looked completely natural. We were astounded and our eyes filled with tears. We could not deny what we had just witnessed. I turned to my friend and said "Did you see him smile? It's a miracle!
August 31, 2012
Fulton has a smile on his face most of the time and appears to be happy. I happened to mention to my wife that Fulton is happier now than he has ever been. Even though my son has serious handicaps, he has learned how to be content. God has given him a sense of peace and a deep contentment about his circumstances. To have God's contentment and peace is priceless, but not always easy to come by. There are millions of people who physically are in much better shape than Fulton, but they have no contentment or peace. This happiness is from God.
August 15, 2014
Your prayers have saved my son's life. Three days ago he had a fever of 104 degrees, pneumonia in both lungs and was put on a ventilator to survive. I will never forget the fear and panic I saw in his face because he could not breathe.
But God, in His great mercy, saved Fulton yet again. His temperature is back to normal and he is scheduled to come off of the ventilator today. Although he is still in the ICU, he has come a long way from where he was Tuesday night. Thank you for loving Fulton through your prayers.
July 31, 2015
Fulton is still growing. He continues to be more alert, stronger, and winning the battle against depression. He's obviously at another level from where he was. Your prayers have meant so much to him and all of us. I said to him the other day, Son, I am not exaggerating when I say at least a hundred thousand people worldwide have prayed for you, and that is why God is healing you one cell at a time. He, with a big smile on his face, gave me a huge thumbs up. He knows without your prayers he would have been gone a long time ago. He has the comfort of experiencing the power of other people's prayers.
So, there you have it...7 things I learned about prayer. Nothing else has the same power. I would never have thought it would take so long, but God has His own agenda in teaching us to be patient. He has proved His faithfulness to us one day at a time, and in some cases, even one minute at a time. And so, armed with prayer, we press on, one victory to another.
If you have never had someone pray for you before, please give it a try.
In the previous blog on How to Give a Gift that Matters, I talked about how materialistically crazy Christmas has become. For many, especially children, the meaning of Christmas is simply how many good presents they get. But as we all know (hopefully), that's not the real meaning of Christmas.
As we get older, we realize that there's more to it than presents. Every now and then there will be a movie or news story on television about some truly generous giver. And with that, we are reminded of a better perspective on the holidays; that it is like Jesus said, "More blessed to give than to receive."
So then, the real meaning of Christmas is giving, right? Well actually, no.
For many, Christmas is either merry or depressing because of how many good presents they are able to give. And for some, because their financial situation makes it very difficult to give, they have come to hate the Christmas holidays because of all the giving. Whether your focus is on getting presents or on giving presents - either way, the true meaning of Christmas is NOT about the presents.
Many Facebook and blog comments state that the most difficult part of Christmas for them was missing a person who was not with them anymore.
Amanda wrote: The best part of Christmas is being with my family. The worst part is not having my grandfather here anymore. He passed away in August of 2010, 3 weeks before my birthday. He always was the life of every family gathering, especially Christmas when he dressed up as Santa. Every year when he dressed up, I always had a picture taken with him...I'm only 22 and he's been my everything. It's hard knowing he's not here. He got me Santa figurines every year as a present. Now I buy one every year to remember him.
Tragedy will always help us recalibrate our values. It shakes us up and brings us back to reality. Those of you who are regular listeners to DM LIVE radio program or who follow us on Facebook, know about the tragedy in my family; my son, Fulton, was seriously injured in a car accident and was in a coma. There was great uncertainty about if and when he would come out of the coma.
It's like the old Cat Stephens' song (way before your time) "You don't know what you've got till it's gone. "With my son Fulton's accident, I have been forced to stare this truth in the face. Yes, I'm just like the rest of you, and especially like those for whom tragedy (or near-tragedy) is a reminder to us of what is really important. Christmas is so much more than presents, receiving them or even giving them.
So then, the real meaning of Christmas is about the people in your life that you love - right?
As much as I feel the importance of loved ones at this moment (and will be reminded of it every Christmas for the rest of my life), no, that's not the real meaning of Christmas. There are people all over the world who love their friends and family, but who do not celebrate Christmas.
I'm no Scrooge. Christmas is partly about giving and receiving gifts and it is about celebrating the family and friends in our lives. But the real meaning of Christmas is something even higher, bigger, and infinitely better than all of that.
Christmas is about totally pure, unconditional, irrepressible, inconceivably awesome, self-denying TRUE LOVE.
John was one of twelve disciples of Jesus, and he wrote the book in the Bible known as The Gospel of John. The word gospel means Good News.
John, Disciple of Jesus, wrote: For God so loved the world that He gave His one and only Son, that whoever believes in Him shall not perish but have eternal life. (John 3:16)
I like what Michelle wrote on our Facebook page. I could easily understand how Christmas could be the worst time of the year for her. But she seems to have put it all together, realizing the importance of the people in her life, the real meaning of Christmas, and because of both of those things, the true joy of giving.
Michelle wrote: The hardest part of Christmas was losing my mom on December 26th to cancer. The Best part of Christmas is celebrating the true reason for the season—the birth of baby Jesus and the HOPE He brings to all. Another best part of Christmas for me is visiting the cancer center where my mom had treatments and giving a teddy bear to a cancer patient from Build-A-Bear workshop in honor and in memory of my mom. Bittersweet moment but well worth the tears :o)
Merry Christmas to you all!
My story goes like this:
For the past few months, I've been learning an ice skating routine for a competition in March and there was a lad who wouldn't leave me alone to concentrate. I was forgetting the routine, getting stressed about the moves, and getting snappy with everyone. I go to the ice rink, not to stand around and chat, but to skate and practice what I need to learn. But I couldn't with Kirean around and I was getting more and more stressed. People started thinking I had anger problems and weren't even talking to me because I couldn't talk about what was bothering me. I didn't want people to think I was horrible.
After chatting on here with a HopeCoach, I realized I just needed to tell my coach, Ryan, that I'm getting confused and stressed about the routine and I don't mean to be sharp and snappy with him.
And I need to tell Kirean when I'm not practicing I can hang out and have a laugh with him, but skating time is practice time.
Thank you TheHopeLine!
Roxie (from the UK)
If you are dealing with a situation where you are unsure of what to do and feel frustrated or stressed, connect with a HopeCoach at TheHopeLine. We are here for you, not only to listen but also help you figure out how to deal with what you are going through.
I can't go into all the details but the person with whom I spoke with kept me from killing myself.
I'm in a very dark place at this time but they helped me see just the tiniest bit of light at the end of this road. I can't say it won't happen again but I will say at least I will try to come back if things get black again. Thanks.
Monia
If you are in a dark place right now and need someone to help you see the light, connect with a HopeCoach. Or if this is an emergency and you or a friend needs support, right now, call the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 1-800-273-8255 for free confidential, 24/7 help. For a list of crisis centers around the world and additional help, please visit the suicide prevention resource page.
When I logged onto your app, I was lost, devastated and heart broken. I have had a lot of bad things happen to me in the past, and I've done a lot of bad things as well, but one of your HopeCoaches, unfortunately who will remains anonymous to me, saved my life today.
I had been through a rough break up for the second time and betrayed by a good friend of mine and I thought about leaving it all behind...and if it wasn't for this person I met through you guys, I would have gone through with it. I constantly turned my back on God throughout my life, but after today, I know Jesus will always be there for me..to carry me through all my hard times that I have yet to still overcome.
What you people do, it's amazing and liberating and selfless.
I love all of you so much. My name is JonPaul. I'm a 25 year old college student out of Colorado, and I am so glad I met you all. You, the person I met tonight, who showed me the light and the right path I should take, I want you to know you made me very happy, and I love you deeply.
Even though you are a stranger...you saved my life and my mind from total destruction.
I am forever in debt to your grace. And I hope one day, I get to meet you. Thank you for listening to me, and hearing my heartbreaking story. You made my world a better place to be in. Thank you again!
JohnPaul
And holidays with separated parents can be especially difficult.
Tyler said, The most difficult part of any holiday for me is being rushed between my parents' houses. I feel bad about leaving one parent for the other.
How many of you have had to eat two turkey dinners in one day? Or have you heard one parent complain about the amount of time you spent at the other parent's home? Here are just a few of the issues that are unique to those of you who are spending your holidays with separated parents:
Just when you think things can't get any more complicated, separated parents remarry and then you have to deal with all the "steps" - stepmother, stepfather, stepbrothers, stepsisters, and even step-relatives. I read about one couple in their second year of marriage. Negotiating their holiday plans with their separated and remarried parents became so stressful that they had to see a therapist to cope with the pressure.
Anna wrote: The most difficult part of Christmas is spending it without my father and his family. I don't know any of my mother's family, so gatherings are extremely awkward. Holidays are just all around lonely and depressing for me; I just don't find happiness in them anymore.
Even though the holidays can be really tough, I want to give you some ideas and ways to make this year's holiday better. You may not get to decide where you spend the holidays, but you can have a positive impact in other ways. You can survive this!
Stephanie wrote: Probably the most difficult part of Christmas for me is seeing how much things or life in general have changed from one year to the next and how things can never be as they once were.
Even though you are obligated - or court-ordered - to spend the holidays with your separated parents, make some time to see your friends as well. Even if it is just a phone call, a friend can make you laugh or give words of encouragement. And if a friend is not available remember our HopeCoaches are available 24/7 to chat online with you. Sometimes just venting to someone about the stress you are feeling can really release a lot of the anxiety.
Just know that I am thinking about you during the holiday season. TheHopeLine and I are here for you. We know you can make this holiday the best one yet!
Tell the truth now: that includes you and me. In fact, some people, sad to say, lie almost all the time.
Psychologists call these people compulsive or psychopathic liars. They tell lies even when they don't have to. Even the youngest of children will lie, especially if they think by doing it, they won't get punished for something. When children first learn how lying works, they lack the moral understanding of when to refrain from doing it.
Because lying can have such destructive and harmful consequences to both the liar and the one being lied to, I've written several blogs on this topic.
There are different kinds of lies, as well as different degrees of lying. It seems so many people I talk to have a problem with lying whether it's their own, or someone else's.
While maybe everybody lies at some point, few understand how destructive it can be, why we do it, and how to stop it. So, let's answer those questions.
Let's begin by defining what lying is:
Lying is saying something with the intent of creating a false belief or impression. It's an attempt to get someone to believe something that is not true.
Sometimes a lie might seem unintentional, or it may have been told to save someone else's feelings. For example, someone may say to another, "That sure is a pretty dress!", when the person knows it's ugly. We all have the capacity to lie.
FEAR
It was Tad Williams who said, "We tell lies when we are afraid... afraid of what we don't know, afraid of what others will think, afraid of what will be found out about us. But every time we tell a lie, the thing that we fear grows stronger." People can be so afraid of what might happen if they told the truth. Maybe they have done something wrong and are afraid of the consequences of their actions, so they lie to cover up what they did. As is often said about political scandals: It's not the crime that gets you in trouble, nearly as much as the cover-up.
MANIPULATION
Lies are typically motivated by a desire to get other people to either do something or not do something, or to make a decision in the favor of the person doing the lying. Someone might lie to get something they desire such as sex, money, status, power, love, etc. Lori said: "I'm young, but I realized quickly lustful people know how to get what they want, even if it means lying to you about how they feel." Probably the word love is used in more lives than any other. How often a guy will say to a girl (or vice versa), "I love you", simply to get the other person emotionally stirred up, so they can be more easily manipulated.
PRIDE
Many times, a person will lie because of pride. They use it for nothing more than a tool to create a favorable image of themselves. This leads to exaggeration, which is a form of lying. Often people will create fascinating, yet completely false, stories to improve their image.
Bottom line: We deceive other people because we think it serves our purposes in some way. And it's easy!
It becomes an addiction.
When you get away with a lie it often drives you to continue your deceptions, and in the process, we ruin relationships, hurt others, lose our integrity, and lose our peace. Truth becomes a feared enemy of the liar. It's a sick and tragic cycle that doesn't ever have a happy ending.
Lying may seem simple and harmless at first, but just like any addiction, you'll soon find yourself trapped and entangled more than you could have ever imagined.
Liars don't have peace
Lying is extremely stressful. It causes you to be constantly looking over your shoulder and wondering who might be finding you out. You're always running through the lies you've told in your head, trying to keep track of what you've told to which person, and what's the next lie you need to tell. When you're honest, you don't have those worries or the negative consequences of your lies.
Roselyn commented: "I can say that not lying is a very relaxing way of life." The fact that you don't have to worry about remembering old lies or getting in trouble later on when the truth comes out (because it always does) puts a lot more relief in your life. Even when it's hard, telling the truth always has a better outcome than a bunch of lies.
Lies ruin relationships
People are constantly looking to see who they can trust and who they can't. People are actually much more perceptive and aware of who tells the truth and who doesn't. Over time, honesty shows itself as a trait that is beautiful and deeply respected. Liars are not respected.
This is true in all our relationships whether it's dating, family, friends, or at work. Macey put it so well: "It's always best, to be honest. It makes any and every relationship strong and healthy."
Someone commented about the value of being honest: "I used to lie a lot. I would lie only because it was easier than explaining the truth. And I have finally grown to realize that it's easier to [be honest]. Being honest and open has actually gotten me further than lying. My parents trust me, and I feel good about myself. And when you feel good about yourself then you know that everything is okay." This person has come to realize that when we tell the truth and live it, we become emotionally and spiritually stronger every day.
It stands to reason that if you are not always working to stay one lie ahead of your last lie, you will be more at peace and have greater security in your relationships with others. The wisest man in the Bible, King Solomon, understood this well. He wrote, "Whoever walks in integrity walks securely, but he who makes his ways crooked will be found out." Proverbs 10:9
God speaks of the dangers of lying often in the Bible. In fact, "Do not lie" is one of the 10 Commandments. God understands how much pain lying brings to both the liar and those being lied to and so He tells us not to lie in order to protect us from pain. The Bible also says, "For all that is secret will eventually be brought into the open, and everything that is concealed will be brought to light and made known to all." Luke 8:17
Here is more of what God says about lying - Verses of Hope for Struggling with Lying
Following God can offer so much security in many aspects of life. For more on a relationship with God read Learn More About God
I want to offer up a challenge to all of us. Would you be willing to commit to a life of honesty and integrity? If you're up for this life-changing challenge, please write me a comment below, and tell a friend about your commitment too.
Has lying become a part of your everyday life? Need more help? Listen to Dawson's Podcast, How Can I Stop Lying - EP -19.
