How To Stop Lying

Lying is a Horribly Destructive Habit 

Any destructive habit leads to painful consequences. When we choose to lie, we choose to suffer. Think how much better off we’d be if we would stop lying and live in the truth. Listen to the words of Jennifer: "I was lied to my whole life by my mother…every day it was something new. After living with her for 14 years, I sometimes find myself exaggerating, and making up stories to seem cool. I don’t ever want to be like my mother, so how do I stop before I hurt my family, friends, and myself?"

Jennifer realizes lying can go from one generation to the next. One hurt person will then hurt another person because the curse of lying is not stopped.

Once we see how easy it can be to lie and to control what other people think about us, we start sliding down that slippery slope leading to a miserable, addicted place.

So, the most important question we can ask today is: How do we stop lying?

8 Practical Steps to Stop Lying

1. Admit you have a problem.

This is always the first, biggest, and most difficult step. Find someone you trust and tell them about your lying habit…no matter how big or small you think the problem is. The fact is you don’t want to lie anymore, but you can’t stop lying on your own. You need help to stay accountable. Megan said: "When I met the man who is now my husband, I knew I needed to work on [my lying] because I wanted/needed to be completely truthful with him. I told him that I wanted his help, and was amazed that he loved me enough to stick with me (even the few times I lied to him) and fight it out with me."

2. Remind yourself how lying messes up your life.

Lying destroys relationships and adds a tremendous burden to your life. Understanding that there will be consequences is a powerful deterrent in breaking the habit of lying. Phillip suffered the consequences of his lying in a big way: "I used to lie all the time, and I would normally end up getting caught in the end. It took me going to prison to find out that the truth is a much better way to go than to lie about everything. Take the time to think about what the consequences are going to be of what I say or are about to do?"

3. Try to figure out what pressured you to lie.

What were you trying to hide? What would have been a better way, to tell the truth? For example, all addicts feel they must lie to cover up their addiction. The more they cover up their addiction, the better they get at lying and deceiving. Almost every lie has a reason behind it. Wrong actions almost always lead to lies. The reason Hannah lies is to control people around her. That in itself can be an addiction. "I try not to lie but if I see someone that I like pulling away from me because they think I’m weird I’ll start telling lies to get me closer to them. I end up living this horrible lie."

4. Tell someone when you lie.

Admitting a lie can make a world of difference, and while it might hurt your pride, it’s far better than being a liar. Even better, confess to the person you lied to immediately and seek their forgiveness. This is humbling, but it will cause you to stop and think before you tell another lie. Someone once said Confession is good for the soul. And it is also good at helping us break bad habits.

It would also be wise to confess your lying before God. After all, He’s heard every lie you’ve ever told. And when you confess, you can also ask God to help you break the habit. The Bible promises God will always show us a way out:

"No temptation has overtaken you except what is common to mankind. And God is faithful; he will not let you be tempted beyond what you can bear. But when you are tempted, he will also provide a way out so that you can endure it." 1 Corinthians 10:13.

God actually has a lot to say about lying in the Bible. Check out these Verses of Hope for Lying.

5. Be realistic about what you promise to others.

Deliberately broken promises are lies that lead to broken hearts. If you promise to do something and never intend to follow through, that is a lie. Additionally, many lies begin as a way to cover up the fact we can’t possibly do everything we promised we were going to do. Be honest about what you’re capable of doing, admitting to yourself and others your limitations, and you won’t feel a need to lie.

6. Talk to others about their expectations of you.

If you find yourself lying to cover up how you have fallen short of others expectations of you have a conversation with your parents, friends, or teachers in order to come to an agreement about what is reasonable for them to expect. Don’t sell yourself short. You may not be expecting enough of yourself, but an open discussion to get everyone on the same page is important.

7. Practice telling the truth.

When you start to feel the urge to lie, stop and think for a moment. Think about what the other person would feel about you if they knew you were lying. Think about how you would feel if people lied to you all the time. And then, as painful as it may seem, tell the truth. The more we tell others the truth, the easier it is to continue to do it. Lying is a bad habit. Telling the truth is a good habit. Work on breaking your bad habit by replacing it with a good one. Angel said: "It spreads like wildfire when someone is caught lying. Then when the person is actually telling the truth, no one will believe them because they have told so many lies. For the sake of your family, friends, and loved ones, always tell the truth even if you are afraid of the outcome!”

8. Commit to a life of honesty, at all costs.

Telling the truth might be horribly uncomfortable for you, but you’re starting to walk down a path of honesty and integrity, turning yourself into the person you desire to be. If you don’t know the answer to a question, don’t lie and make something up. Say, I don’t know. The freedom of the truth will be liberating.

Like any Addiction - It's Not Easy to Stop Lying...But Worth It.

Let’s be honest…it is going to be very difficult to stop lying. Claudia admitted: "I have learned that when you start lying it is hard to stop. It takes a lot of hard work and determination to get over a habit that has been a big part of your life."

However, as you wake up to the reality of what you’re saying and doing and put a stop to the lies you are telling, you will soon reap the benefits of living a peaceful life. I promise, if you put forth an effort to stop this toxic and destructive habit right now, you’ll be grateful forever.

Leave a comment below. I’d love to hear what you think are some of the rewards of being honest?

For more help to stop lying check out, Top Two Reasons You Should Stop Lying Plus How Liars Get Caught

Dawson McAllister
Dawson McAllister, also known as America's youth pastor, was an author, radio host, speaker, and founder of TheHopeLine. McAllister attended Bethel College in Minnesota for undergraduate work where he graduated in 1968, began graduate studies at Talbot School of Theology in California, and received an honorary doctorate from Biola University.
Keep Reading
Start Your Hope Journey Now!
Step 1:  Choose a topic
Step 2: Explore our resources
Step 3: Chat with a hope coach

More Like This

Subscribe Now

We will not share your information and we will only send you stuff that matters!
Quick Links

297 comments on “How To Stop Lying”

  1. I'm 13 and I can't stop lying to my parents. I'm close to my mom and tell her a lot of things, but when I do something wrong I don't tell them and always end up in trouble for them. Lately it's escalated to taking things from them and using them, like my mom's tablet. I am tired of doing this but i just can't stop. I really don't want this to escalate into a huge problem where I'm stealing something illegal. Someone please help me.

    1. You stated you "always end up in trouble for them". Why not just admit the truth since you already know you'll be caught lying and getting in trouble? At least by being honest, there's a chance of repairing the relationship with your parents before you get older and lose all their respect.

    2. I would lie to my mother when I was younger about anything. I didn't like to shop but she did so I would lie. I also would just end up in trouble. I am now 40 and the lies that started with her continued. It is great that you are getting ahead and asking for help. I really wouldn't want you to end up in the same position that I am now. Keep getting help find someone to trust, if you cant find one see if you can see a therpist. It's great that you have found this place, I no longer feel as alone as I did.

  2. I feel so bad right now. How long does it take to become an honest person? The feeling is horrible and I do not want to lie anymore. Please help me

    1. The fact that you are being honest about it and feel remorse shows that you can and will get better! Have you downloaded our free eBook> http://info.thehopeline.com Also, you can talk about it with one of our trained HopeCoaches. Simply click the "chat now" button. We are here cheering you on. You can do it!

  3. i cant stop lying about things i do or did, recent event i went out with my sister and never told my boyfriend and he found out by himself and he aksed me what did i do this weekend and i lied to him even when he knew i was lying, im making a fool out myself , i have this habit of trying to get myself out of a situation that is direct to me and is uncomfortable towards me by lying and i do tell the truth when i know within me that what i am saying is the truth but by the stupid lies i told in the past he will never believe me. please help i am losing him and he is the reason of how i came to addmiting i have a problem and i want to change 25 years of this habits please

    1. You CAN change. Being honest here and asking for help is a great start. Talking with a counselor or here at TheHopeLine with a HopeCoach can help you get to the root of the issue. Sometimes we lie because we have a fear or a traumatic memory. The fact that you genuinely don't want to do it says that there is hope for you to get healthy in this area of your life. Please chat with one of our HopeCoaches. Your boyfriend can also chat with us about how he is feeling and maybe learn how he can help you, too. Just click the "chat now" button or go to this link https://www.thehopeline.com/gethelp Together the two of you could also go through our free eBook about lying. It will help the two of you talk about it together in a healing way for both of you - http://info.thehopeline.com/lying-ebook

  4. I lie to my wife about small things because I assume that it might hurt her. I want to tell her the truth, everything and get it off my chest. I am scared that after hearing all of that she might leave me and never come back. That is not what I want. I keep telling myself to wait till i get my paycheck so that I can cover up the lie, but I would be lying to her again about the salary that i am getting as I would be paying off a debt that I have not told her. There is nothing else that I am hiding from her. But me constantly lying and trying to hide things I know might upset her have taken my once chance of getting an opportunity to be trusted. How do I make it all right? Please tell me.

    1. I am so glad you are being honest here. That is the first step in healing. Have you read our eBook about lying? That's a good place to start and talking to a HopeCoach is really helpful. Just click the "chat now" button. True intimacy in a relationship comes through being completely honest with one another. Being humble, sorry, and repentant may actually bring you closer together.
      Here is the link to the eBook - http://info.thehopeline.com/lying-ebook It is great for both of you to read.

      1. I already took a printout of the ebook and will read it tonite itself. I want to be honest, though I am scared but I really want to be honest and tell her everything. I want to work on our relationship and address everything that she expects from me as a partner as a husband.

        1. I am so proud of you for taking these first steps! I will be praying that her heart is full of compassion and grace and that your honesty will open the door for a wonderful deeper relationship together.

    2. You can only make it right by being honest and dealing with the consequences of your actions. You've denied her a real relationship with your lies and the right to be involved in the decisions that affect you both.

  5. I have been a lyer for most of my life. It cost me my marriage my business and my love once. I hate that I lie about things especially when it comes to my self. I don't know when to stop and and when I get caught on a lie I lie more to cover up the first lie. I absolutely hate it I just want to be better from the bottom of my heart

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

POST COMMENTS

Tired of The Problem?  Try the Solution.

Privacy Policy / Terms of Use
© 2024 TheHopeLine, Inc. Registered 501(c)(3). EIN: 20-1198064
© 2021 core.oxyninja.com. Powered by OxyNinja Core
magnifiercrosschevron-down