Before moving onto the next blog topic, Relationships in the Military, I wanted to share just a few more thoughts on Why Guys Cheat on Their Girlfriends. This part two of the six things that struck me about your comments over the last few weeks; thing-four thru thing-six.
#4. Getting Harder and Harder to Press the Reset Button.
Many people commented about being hurt or disappointed so many times that they now have a hard time simply pressing the reset button and starting over. They began with some idealistic notions about romance but eventually grew very discouraged and cynical about relationships. Some seem to be losing hope.
Michelle wrote: Suggestions for finding the right guy? never. the right
guys always seem to hurt you at some point. girls are better off waiting til
they’re older then dating, and making a living for themselves. i just dont
believe there is a good enough guy, anywhere.
Crystal wrote: Life is so complicated. You spend more time trying to figure out where the previous relationship went wrong that you give up hope that you are meant to be with anyone.
Dave wrote: It’s been three years now, and I still have trouble trusting women.
SW wrote: There’s no hope for us, relationships will almost always fail, and believe me, i still haven’t accepted this yet because it still scares me. I HOPE I’m not right about this.
HARD TRUTH: Many people who have lost a lot money on bad investments are terrified of making new investment decisions. They are said to be snake-bit. People who have been through several bad relationships understand something that novice GFs/BFs don’t yet know… that relationships are not without risk. In other words, if you are not very careful about where and how much of your heart and emotions to invest, you could get really hurt. Do that enough times, and you too can get snake-bit.
5. Sex and Boredom. It is remarkable how quickly some
relationships go from the thrill of something new, to talking about forever, to boredom, to break up.
Many blog comments pointed to boredom as the reason for a lot of cheating.
Jeremy wrote:Why do guys cheat on their girlfriends? Boredom and things get stale. Guys see it as an excuse to look for something exciting to add that thrill back.
Briana wrote: Why do guys cheat? I think guys get bored easily. They
want something new and fresh…And a new girl is new and fresh to them!
There is a thing called the Law of Diminishing Return. Put simply, how far you are willing go physically with your BG/GF gets less and less thrilling. To continue getting that same thrill, you have to go a little farther. But then after you’ve gone all the way, what else is there to do? Stop before you reach that point.
Anonymous wrote: I think guys cheat on there girlfriends because they get tired of kissing, or having sex with the same chick. Especially when they are younger guys.
HARD TRUTH (continued): Sex doesn’t keep a BG/GF; it often condemns the relationship to failure. There is deep sense of satisfaction and contentment in old friendships. Because you go way back and have a lot of good history together, you just feel comfortable and relaxed with each other. Nothing special needs to be happening, you just enjoy hanging out together. Relationships based on the thrill of sex or making out are just the opposite.
You get bored with each other after a while, there is no place farther to go, and someone begins looking forsomething new to get that thrill again.
6. Standing Alone. There is a lot of pressure on people to be hooked up with a BF/GF. Have you ever known a person with a terribly sad history in dating relationships but at the same time who seems offended that you are not doing the same thing. It’s like
they take your unwillingness to follow their mistakes as a personal attack. Lot of crazy peer pressure out there!
Sarah wrote: Suggestions for finding the right guy? …stopped looking…didn’t even want to date anymore then my mr. rite came into my life asked me out and I turned him down a few times. he asked me again and I just thought.. whatever, what have I to lose? it went very well we were inseparable and 8 months later we got married. now we have a beautiful boy together and the love is even stronger.