A Marriage in Tatters
Jeffery’s wife cheated on him right around the time they were going to be celebrating 5 years together. She confessed to Jeffrey, said she was upset and saddened by her actions, so they decided to try to work out their relationship. Then 6 months later, she had another affair with a guy 15 years older than her. She moved in with the guy, got pregnant by him, and had an abortion.
Just recently, she has decided she wants to come home to be with Jeffery. Jeffery feels conflicted. He knows she has nowhere else to go. Is that why she wants to move back in with him just because she has nowhere else to go? And Jeffery feels emotionally conflicted over the abortion she had. He would have taken care of the baby, even though it wasn’t his. Now, his wife said she is leaving the other guy to move back home with Jeffery, but then she went back to the other guy for another week. Should Jeffery take her back?
Peer to Peer: A Rock-Solid Message of Advice for Jeffery
Joanna called in with rock-solid, life-changing advice for Jeffery. She had great insight!
Share Your Story About Your Cheating Wife
Joanna apologized on behalf of women and said, “It’s terrible what you are going through, and I feel very heartbroken for you.” Joanna suggested to first pay attention to what’s best for Jeffery’s children and said serving the Lord should come before any romantic relationship. Joanna points out that Jeffery’s wife betrayed him twice and she’s still living with the other guy even though she’s said she wants to come home. Joanna said, if she really wanted to be with Jeffrey she wouldn’t be staying with the other guy and continuing a sexual relationship with him. She would have found somewhere else to stay like a friend’s house or her parents.
Joanna said Jeffrey’s wife seems like she’s into survival sex, where a woman pairs up with a man to get a roof over her head and get other things she wants. Then when she gets bored or someone else who looks better comes along, they’ll jump to that guy.
Joanna recommends to Jeffery, if his wife really wants to make their relationship work, she should live with her family or a female friend and she should not have any sexual activity for one year. Then after one year, if it still seems like the right thing to do, they can have a vowel renewal and she can move back in with Jeffery.
His Wife’s Actions and Words Don’t Add Up
Jeffery’s wife needs God’s help. No one really turns to God unless they see themselves and their situation the way God does. All of us would like to believe we aren’t so bad, and we don’t mess up as much as others. But the Bible says this in Isaiah 64:6, “We are all infected and impure with sin. When we display our righteous deeds, they are nothing but filthy rags. Like autumn leaves, we wither and fall, and our sins sweep us away like the wind.”
Joanna lovingly spoke the truth about Jeffery’s wife, she chose to betray him twice. Her actions don’t add up to what she’s saying. She’s saying she wants to move back home but she’s still staying with the other guy. Jeffery’s wife went against her vows of marriage and what God had ordained for marriage. If she was repentant she wouldn’t be living in sin anymore.
Joanna talked about how she thought Jeffery’s wife was into survival sex is when women pair up with men to put food on the table and a roof over their head. Then use that man until someone better comes along and they jump.
Jeffery’s wife needs a complete turnaround. I like what Joanna suggested for Jeffery’s wife. She needs to spend a year with family or a female friend and not be in any relationship and refrain from sex. She does need to honor Jeffery and the children and show them she wants to be committed to them.
What advice would you give Jeffery?
What would you do if you were in Jeffery’s situation? Would you take her back? Would you make her wait a year to move back home? If you have any advice or words of encouragement for Jeffery, please share in the comments!
Did Today’s Episode Get You Thinking?
Being cheated on is a complete violation of trust. Jeffrey was willing to work on his marriage after the first time his wife cheated but now it’s happened again. It’s no wonder, he’s wondering if she really wants to come home to be with him. He must wonder if he lets her come back home, will she cheat on him again?
If you’ve been cheated on, whether it’s once, twice or multiple times, you need some time to heal. It’s important not to jump right back into the same relationship or into a new one. There needs to be time for healing and a time for self-care. If you are wanting to get back together, there needs to be time to make sure both of you want to recommit to each other. There’s no point in getting back together in a relationship if both parties aren’t fully committed to repairing the relationship, rebuilding trust, and giving everything to make it work.
Resources for Cheating:
- Take a look at my eBook: Understanding Cheating in Relationships.
- Check out my blogs:
- Need to talk to someone about how you are feeling, then: Chat with a HopeCoach at TheHopeLine.
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Remember, whatever you do, Never Lose Hope!