In This Episode:
The love of money is so gripping, it can cause us to wander away from God and lead us into all kinds of trouble, where we have broken hearts with many sorrows. And we don’t just break our own hearts but also those near to us.
In this episode, I speak with Mike, who spent his trust fund money on gambling, money that was intended for his education. I talk with Paris, who hasn’t been to the casino recently but still feels the temptation. And he almost lost his wife because of his gambling addiction. Finally, I speak with David, who is losing friends and family over his addiction and is spending money he doesn’t have, even gambling during his breaks at work.
It can take a while for gamblers to hit the wall so to speak, because most are optimistic by nature, easily fooled by their own reasoning. They think everything is going to work out just fine. They live for the high of winning.
Gamblers can easily become delusional. They hold beliefs which contradict reality. They reason within themselves, next time I play, I’ll hit the jackpot and everything’s going to be great. Always chasing the big prize, while slipping and sliding into more and more debt.
King Solomon wrote, “Those who work their land will have abundant food, but those who chase fantasies will have their fill of poverty.” Proverbs 28:19
The gambler is chasing a fantasy of winning big. At some point, the gambler loses his grip on reality. The buzz to the gambler is that winning hand, which will set everything straight. Some addicted gamblers are extremely arrogant and narcissistic. They think people who don’t play are chumps for not having the guts to take a chance of walking away with easy money.
While God does not say specifically, don’t gamble. He has a lot to say about the sin behind gambling, which is the love of money. A writer on BibleStudyTools.com put it this way: “Most often when people gamble it is because they become addicted to the love of money. A simple game can become a sin when it takes over our minds and hearts and leads us down a road of never being satisfied.”
Gambling adds fuel to the consuming fire of the love of money. Most gamblers end up craving the thrill of chasing the money they love and the rush of winning it. The Bible says, “For the love of money is a root of all kinds of evil. Some people, eager for money, have wandered from the faith and pierced themselves with many griefs.” 1 Timothy 6:10
Money in and of itself is not evil. It is just a tool. But the love of money is. King Solomon, the wisest man in the Bible said, “Whoever loves money never has enough; whoever loves wealth is never satisfied with their income. This too is meaningless.” Ecclesiastes 5:10
And so, the gambler is never satisfied, ever. What the gambler wants is more thrills, more games, and more money. He can never get enough. He is forever craving, wanting even more but never satisfied.
Jesus said, “No one can serve two masters. Either you will hate the one and love the other, or you will be devoted to the one and despise the other. You cannot serve both God and money.” Matthew 6:24
If you love money, you will not love God. If you love God, you will soon despise the love of money. Unless the gambler turns to God and turns away from the love of money, he will forever despise God.
Did Today’s Episode Get You Thinking?
God uses the consequences of our actions to force us back to Him. God is bigger than your gambling problem, no matter how big it is. It’s not just a matter of telling the world you want to reset but it’s the ongoing hard work it will take to get free. You can change your love of money to a love for God and He will help you if you ask. You can find freedom from your addiction.
Resources for Getting Over a Gambling Addiction:
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Remember, whatever you do, Never Lose Hope
My name is Renee. My daughter's name is Nevaeh. She died by suicide on December 5th, 2017. It's been a struggle, that's for sure. But with this struggle, I've found a strength within myself, I never knew existed.
On February 23, 2015, my daughter was hit by a truck on the highway going through our small town. She had a T.B.I (traumatic brain injury) and a broken neck. We spent almost 2 years helping her through her recovery. We struggled for resources. We were not offered the help that is out there by the doctor when we left the hospital, and our school did not have the aid she needed for her core classes. They only had someone to help her walk around at gym time.
At this time, she was walking just fine but she was struggling with her core classes. She went from being a very bright girl who never had to try hard at school to this person she did not even know. She started to cut herself and do risky things like jumping out of my vehicle, meeting strangers online and inviting them to our house, and smoking weed every chance she got. I took her to the emergency room, and they sent us home. The second time I had the RCMP (Royal Canadian Mounted Police) bring her to the hospital, hoping it would get us listened too. I knew she was going to go through with it and that it was only a matter of time.
On November 12th, the RCMP took her in. They had found her close to the train tracks, where she told us she would take her life.
She had over 100 cuts on her body from self-harm and they were not little scratches. She took a razor blade across her skin over and over again. The hospital called me after midnight to come get her. I cried and screamed at the woman and said my child is going to die if you do not keep her! She said if I was done, they could place her with children and family services. I was so angry; how dare she think I'm done. This is my baby my first born.
I was afraid because I knew this was coming close to the end and we did not have a month to wait to have her seen. We were running out of time. I vowed to my daughter the day she died that I would make changes in her honor. I told her if one person's life can be saved because she died then we will be okay!
I found your website today, and it was exactly what I was looking for. I am working with my family and friends to start a mental health suicide awareness campaign. Here is a rough copy of one of the tools we have been sent from heaven to help us cope. We have each put our own spin on it!
In loving memory of Nevaeh Charette, May 25, 2003 - December 5, 2017
For Crisis Support:
You’ve been in a relationship with someone and now that relationship is over. You have ties to that person which are hard to break.
Sometimes, it’s tremendously harder to move on from them than you thought it would be. If you’re having a hard time moving on from your ex, join me as I speak with Anthony, Jessica, and Keith, each of them trying to get over their ex! You might just find some advice that works for you as well.
Anthony’s ex-girlfriend told his current girlfriend he was cheating on her with her (his ex). His girlfriend believed his ex, so they decided to break it off and just be friends. But now, Anthony can’t stop thinking about her.
Anthony thought his relationship with his girlfriend was much stronger than it turned out to be. They had only been in a relationship a few months. It was hardly enough time for them to build a solid foundation. Every relationship is tested in some way. When their relationship was tested, it crumbled.
What Anthony’s ex did was wrong. No one, including Anthony needs their reputation trashed. But in the end, it became a blessing. It helped bring to light the trust issues his girlfriend had and his obsessiveness in their relationship.
They both had their reasons for breaking up and agreed they needed to be just friends. But, once Anthony realized the relationship with his girlfriend was truly over, he began to obsess. He became emotionally overwhelmed with what he could not have, which was her.
What he needed to do was go back over the reasons they decided to break up to begin with. All the reasons are still there. He should let his obsessive feelings go, even though he doesn’t feel like it. The sooner he lets go, the quicker he will stop obsessing over his ex-girlfriend. And the sooner he’ll be able to walk away completely.
Jessica’s boyfriend broke up with her but she knew there was still something between them. He started dating a girl 10 days after breaking up with her. Then a bit later, Jessica and he started having sex even though he was with another girl. Jessica said she’s still wants him so she’s willing to put up with being used. The problem is that whatever he’s saying to Jessica, he’s staying to this other girl. Whatever he’s doing to Jessica, he’s doing to his girlfriend as well.
So, many people know their relationship is over but they try to prop it up anyway. Most of the time it doesn’t work and ends up in a lot of heartache. In Jessica’s case, she tried to prop up her relationship with her ex with sex.
Jessica is shifting the blame and saying it’s okay for her to have sex with her ex, because this other girl took her boyfriend away from her. What she’s saying is, I’m willing to disrespect myself to get what I need which is feeling loved by him again.
Instead, Jessica needs to stop having sex with her ex so she can walk away with self-respect. Sex will not meet her deepest needs or bring her boyfriend back. Her ex doesn’t have the capacity to meet her deepest needs. He became tired of her before, and he’ll get tired of her again. People ask too much of their exes. They ask them to meet needs only God can meet.
If you want to know more about having a meaningful relationship with God, check out my podcast episode number 9. You can hear how Ronnie’s life was changed and how yours can too.
Keith feels stuck in a rut. He split up with his girlfriend 2 years ago. They were 6 months away from being married but things deteriorated and their relationship ended. Keith keeps thinking about what could have been if they hadn’t broken up. He said he can’t find reasons to move on.
If you are not over your ex after 2 years, something is wrong. What could keep him obsessing that long?
It’s because they became serious way too quickly. They were acting like they were married, but the relationship did not hold together. Once you start acting like you’re married, you’re in deep. It may be fun to act that way, but it causes a lot of pressure on the relationship. Slow down, the action will happen soon enough.
It’s difficult to throw away memories of the past but Keith will continue to have a difficult time with his emotions if he doesn’t.
Walking away isn’t easy when you thought you were in love but in reality, you weren’t. It’s the truth that sets us free. It’s time for Keith to believe the truth his relationship is over so he can get on with the rest of his life. There is so much more to live for.
Just about everybody will walk away from an ex at one time or another. So many people living in the past, obsessing over something that wasn’t even a reality. Ask yourself, am I living in the truth or am I in a fantasy? That’s a difficult question to answer but if you can answer yourself truthfully then you can get on with the rest of your life.
Resources for Getting Over Your Ex:
Would you consider doing something for me?
If you like this episode and think someone else might too, please share it on Facebook and Twitter.
One last thing,
My podcast, our website, everything we do is entirely listener supported. If you’d like to help us to continue our work, please make a gift right now at our Give Now page.
Remember, whatever you do, Never Lose Hope!
"I’m afraid to see a professional counselor."
Have you had this thought as well? Do you feel you may benefit from seeing a counselor, but face fears about scheduling an appointment?
Perhaps you have convinced yourself of many reasons why you shouldn’t go to counseling. A lot of these reasons may be seemingly understandable. However, more than likely, they are common misconceptions rooted in fear.
Today I want to address some of those myths because I see such value in talking to a counselor on an ongoing basis.
I can talk to someone for 4 minutes on my radio show and our HopeCoaches can chat a bit longer on TheHopeLine. This gives us enough time to point someone in the right direction, to love on them and to give them hope. But many times, that guidance includes encouraging someone to seek ongoing counseling, especially for those deeper issues.
Listen to my live call with Elizabeth whose parents sent her to therapy after she attempted suicide. She lied to get out of it. Now, she's struggling with suicidal thoughts again and wants to know what to do. Elizabeth needs to go back to therapy with an open mind and an open heart to find the help she needs
If you have considered seeing a professional counselor, but have talked yourself out of it because of unwarranted fears, I hope this information will help you become more comfortable in seeking the help that you need.
One of our partner organizations is Centerstone. They are one of the nation’s largest not-for-profit providers of community-based behavioral health care. Below they share a list of common misconceptions about treatment that we are in turn sharing with you:
1. If I need help, something must be wrong with me. I must be broken or abnormal.
Just like with physical illness, mental illness and addiction are medical problems. You wouldn’t say that someone who has cancer or the flu is broken. They need treatment just like someone with a mental illness or addiction.
2. No one will understand my problem. I don’t deserve help.
One in four American adults will experience a mental illness in their lifetime. That’s 25% of the population. There are many people who know what you are going through. You deserve to feel healthy and whole.
3. If I come in for an appointment, they will take me away.
Involuntary commitment is extremely rare, particularly at first appointments. Just like a physician’s office, there are occasionally people who need to be taken to the ER. But most folks just go in for their regular treatment.
4. They’ll put me on pills that will put me in a fog, and I’ll never be able to stop taking them.
As with physical illnesses, some mental health disorders will require short- or long-term medication regimens. It can be an important part of treatment, but it should never make you feel like you’re not yourself or in control. You have a say in these treatments.
5. If I just try harder, I won’t need treatment.
Mental health and substance abuse treatment is for people who have an illness that deserves treatment, just as much as any other illness. It can’t be cured by trying harder or ignoring the problem.
6. People will think less of me if I go to a therapist.
Thankfully, we are at a point in time where a lot of people are speaking out about their mental illness and a lot is being done to combat the stigma surrounding it. And while you may be encouraged to talk to your loved ones and community members about your illness, a counselor respects their clients’ privacy. They will never reveal you receive treatment without your express permission. In fact, they can’t; it’s the law!
7. Therapy is just a lot of talking; I can get the help I need from my friends.
While a strong support system of friends and family is very important, there are things that we can help you with that your loved ones might not be able to. Our clinicians have extensive training and experience so they know all the tricky ways that your mental illness can trip you up and how to overcome your hurdles.
8. If I get treatment, I’ll have to keep going forever.
A counselor’s goal is always to get you back into your community as quickly as possible. While some patients may need long-term treatment, many individuals just need a few weeks or months to deal with their problem.
9. I can’t afford it.
Most insurance providers will cover some form of mental health treatment; it may be less expensive than you think. For those without insurance or those whose insurance doesn’t cover mental health treatment, you should inquire about programs set up to help provide funds to those who need assistance.
If you are struggling with a serious issue such as depression, anxiety, PTSD, suicidal thoughts, eating disorders, self-harm and many more, please love yourself enough to consider the option of counseling. Don’t dismiss the idea because of one of these misconceptions listed above. You do deserve to live your best life and you can achieve it. Sometimes we all just need a little help.
In This Episode:
If your pregnant and it’s unexpected, it can be quite a shock! You might be wondering who to turn to and what to do. In this episode, I speak with Kayla, Lee, and Tarah. They are all in very different situations but each of them is pregnant and having their own set of struggles.
Kayla is not exactly sure who the birth father is, Lee’s boyfriend is an alcoholic and smokes weed, and Tarah hasn’t settled on keeping the baby but she says abortion and adoption are not options for her.
I know it can be scary to have an unplanned pregnancy. You don’t know what your family and friends are going to say. Sometimes the baby’s daddy reacts badly or is not even in the picture anymore. But if you’re pregnant, the baby is coming and you have a limited amount of time to make decisions. You need to give yourself time to absorb the shock of being pregnant, then rally the right people around you, and start to make the life-changing decisions of what to do.
When you get pregnant, you’re not the only player in the game. Kayla needs to find out who the birth father is. There should be no guessing. She became pregnant by one of two guys. She doesn’t want to have to tell her child years from now, “I don’t know who your birth father is.”
The baby is by far the most vulnerable in this drama and needs to be Kayla’s number one priority. She can do the best thing for her baby and herself by finding out the truth. Jesus said, “You will know the truth and the truth will set you free.” (John 8:32)
So, Kayla should go to the doctor and figure out the timeline to determine who the birth father is. If it is still not clear, then she should have DNA testing done, once the baby is born. But she needs to remember, the child’s well-being should be considered first.
One of the biggest issues facing a pregnant mother is the character of the baby’s daddy. She needs to figure out what kind of a person he is and answer the question, “Is he stable enough to be in my child’s life?”
Lee told me she’s pregnant and then after dating her boyfriend for 2 years, found out he’s an alcoholic and smokes weed. As she was telling me this, I thought to myself, if she just found out about his addictions 2 weeks ago, think of all the things she hasn’t found out about him yet.
For example, he could be cheating on her. If he is willing to yield to the temptation of drugs and alcohol, cheating on her would be an easy choice to make.
She will most likely find out he’s also a thief. He’s got to get the money somewhere to feed his habit, not to mention, his baby. So, rest assure, if he hasn’t started stealing, he will soon.
He’s also self-centered. Anyone addicted to drugs and alcohol cares only about themselves and how they are going to feed their habit. If he’s so consumed with his drugs and alcohol, he won’t be able to focus on the needs of his child or you. Having a baby is all give, they don’t care if you’re tired or upset or whatever. If they have a need, you’re going to hear about it.
Also, if you think your boyfriend is in bad shape now, you haven’t seen anything yet. Nothing good happens with addictions. You don’t want an unstable, addict father around, he’ll end up doing more damage than good.
I have real hope for Lee, she’s already thinking about what’s best for her baby. But she really needs our prayers. She faces an uphill battle and only God can give her the strength to love and protect her baby.
Tarah needs to help lessen her stress. She’s making it harder by not talking to her mother or family who hopefully will support her. If her mother doesn’t want to help and kicks her out, there are others who will find a home for Tarah and her baby.
Make sure you have people supporting you and your decisions but, ultimately only you, can make the decision.
Tarah is up against it. She’s pregnant and feels all alone and knows she has a choice to make.
Anytime, one gets pregnant, there’s only 3 options: abortion, adoption, and keeping the baby. By saying yes to one, you’re saying no to the other two. It’s easy to figure out, it’s not always so easy to make the choice. And this is the kind of decision you can’t take forever to make; the baby is coming whether you like it or not.
Tarah made it clear, she didn’t want an abortion. She also said she didn’t want to choose adoption, this leaves her with one choice, to raise the baby. If you choose to keep your baby, you don’t have to figure out everything right away. As Jesus taught, take it one day at a time. He said: “So don't worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will bring its own worries. Today's trouble is enough for today.” (Matthew 6:34)
If you are pregnant, and don’t know what to do. You need to first gather all the facts, which includes going to the doctor to have the test to make sure you are pregnant. Secondly, you need to get people around you who care about you. You need a support group of people who will encourage you, love on you and give you wise counsel. Then with the help of those who love you, you can go on to make the best decisions for you and your baby.
Resources for an Unexpected Pregnancy:
Would you consider doing something for me?
If you like this episode and think someone else might too, please share it on Facebook and Twitter.
One last thing,
My podcast, our website, everything we do is entirely listener supported. If you’d like to help us to continue our work, please make a gift right now at our Give Now page.
You’ve been in a relationship with someone and now that relationship is over. You have ties to that person which are hard to break. Sometimes, it’s tremendously harder to move on from them than you thought it would be. If you’re having a hard time moving on from your ex, join me for my next episode. I speak with Anthony, Jessica, and Keith, each of them trying to get over their ex! You might just find some advice that works for you as well.
Remember, whatever you do, Never Lose Hope!
