Posts by TheHopeLine Team

I had a struggle for a long time but at the very moment I'm typing this I know I'm free in Jesus Name.

Before, I always thought that God was getting tired of forgiving me because I always fail him and I would always do that sin over and over again. It's a kind of sexual sin, I'm still a virgin but I did this pillow sexual fantasy thing. I asked God so many times to give me chance but I always failed, I always fell into temptation.

One time I was so anxious because I fell to it again, I know God forgives but sometimes I feel like I don't deserve any of it, so I decided to search for a Christian counseling or line. I haven't told anyone about my struggle until I joined here at TheHopeLine.com.  There was a HopeCoach who talked to me right away, I confessed everything about that sexual sin. I'm glad they don't judge people who are seeking help. I was reminded that God's love and forgiveness for us never fails, even if we fail so many times.

Right now, I will pray harder and I will always have that verse with me -Philippians 4:6-8 "Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God.  And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.  Finally, brothers and sisters, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable, if anything is excellent or praiseworthy, think about such things."

So whenever the enemy tries to attack my weakness I can overcome in Jesus Name!  I'm blessed that I found this site, it really helps a lot.

I hope that like me, whenever you have a struggle like this I hope you will always think that God loves us and forgives us. I'm starting my new life today, forgetting all those bad things and look forward to God's best plan for me.

God bless everyone!
-Alexandra

Related Posts:
What Is Forgiveness?
7 Things I Learned About Prayer
What Happens When You Don't Forgive

If you have something you are struggling with and want a place free of judgment to get help, please chat with a HopeCoach at TheHopeLine. 

Forgiveness can release you from the insane grip of the past.  For more information on how to forgive and why it’s so important for you to forgive, download TheHopeLine’s free eBook.

The first person I spoke to was very friendly and was able to talk with me for as long as I needed, the second person I talked to was just as helpful, both experiences helped me get this heavy orb off of my chest. I thought that when I wasn't speaking with my best friend about something like this that I would crash and end my life but I learned that as long as the HopeLine is here, I will continue to live with Hope!

-Takia

If you or a friend need support right now, call the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 1-800-273-8255, for free confidential, 24/7 help. Head here for a list of crisis centers around the world. For additional help, please visit the suicide prevention resource page.

All my life, I've never good enough for anyone. My half-brother raped me and made me sleep with him.

When everything is going wrong, I can talk to someone HERE at TheHopeLine and I don't feel alone.

I've tried to kill myself three times in the past six months but TheHopeLine has helped me. Thank you for everything.  Thank you for giving me hope again!

-Indira

If you or someone you know is having thoughts of suicide, please:

• Chat with TheHopeLine here
• Call TheHopeLine at 1-800-394-4673
• Call the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 1-800-273-8255
• Visit suicidepreventionlifeline.org

How to Change Your Life: The Courage, the Risks, and the Rewards

Life can be difficult and uncertain, especially when faced with the prospect of change.  Although change is often the key that will positively alter the path of our lives, we shy away from it for fear of leaving behind our comfort zones and entering into the unknown. This fear robs us of our freedom to make the life choices that can bridge the gap between where we are and where we want to be.

It may take courage to move from the known to the unknown, but the price of growth is a sacrifice of certainty.

Six Steps to Making Any Needed Change in Your Life:

1. Be Honest

• Identify excuses
  You may be unhappy in a number of areas of your life but complaining about it does not change affect change. Are you just skillfully playing the victim role?  If you have chosen to stay stuck due to fear, then the change you need is not going to appear on its own.  Be honest with yourself. Identify the excuses and rationale that have been keeping you in your life as is.
• Take responsibility
  Only you can change you.  Motivation must come from within. Take responsibility and closely look at what part of your life has kept you imprisoned from your own potential.  Don't blame your own refusal to make changes based on external things. When you do this, you give overall responsibility to things you cannot control. For example, I would have realized more of my potential, but no one was ever interested in mentoring me.

2. Accept Risks

• Understand everything is risky
  Change is a fact of life and participating in change means stepping into the unknown. It means taking a risk. Wouldn't life be boring if we always knew outcomes before actions?  The riskiest step is always the first. But with every step in the right direction, your courage muscles get stronger.
• Realize risk leads to growth
  Growth always involves risk, and risk always involves fear.  Unfortunately, some people wait for an ironclad guarantee that everything will work out exactly right until all risk is removed and they stagnate where they are.  Don't wait on the sidelines while the world passes you by.

3. Focus Priorities

• Value your needs
  Many busy women (and men) spend all their time, effort and energy meeting the needs of other people.  Remember to place value on your own needs too. Without a focused priority, you may become molded by your environment, and that will foster a stagnate life.
• Value your time
  Do not play the when-then game.  Don't tell yourself, When the children are grown, I'll take some time for myself.  Or, When I feel like I can make a difference, I will look for a new job.  Sometimes we wait our whole lives for a when that never comes.  Value time and do not assume you have until forever to take a risk and make a change that can excel your life in new directions.

4. Renew

• Evolve rather than age
  Worrying about growing older is a waste of time.  Celebrate the knowledge that aging brings insight and personal growth that is only intensified through life experience. Instead of aging, evolve. Evolving changes your focus from fearing a loss to celebrating an accomplishment. What you have learned throughout your life can enlighten current and future generations. Having an evolving attitude inspires authority to renew yourself and make whatever changes will lead you to that renewal.
• Connect rather than wait
  Connect with others and connect to a larger perspective.  Aging can bring worries about health and fears of loneliness and isolation.  Connection brings strength when we feel we are weak.  Positive relationships encourage and bring courage to make new and better decisions throughout any life transition.

5. Face Your Fears

• Act before crisis
  At its simplest and most benign, fear is an internal warning cry that danger is nearby, and we had better do something about it.  Many times, it takes a warning cry like a marriage failure or a worrisome medical diagnosis to realize we need to make changes.  Do not wait for a crisis to occur to have an awakening about the quality and value of your life.  Begin making changes now, and you will be more prepared once any crisis has occurred.
• Do not let comfort control
  Move past the comfort of fears.  Fears are familiar and therefore mislead us into thinking they are just a part of who you are.  We ruminate over them, fearing they will control us and causing us to live our lives in a state of self-preservation.  While life cannot be a 24-hour thrill ride, you deserve more than just contentment.  Expand your comfort zone and allow yourself the opportunity for awareness and inspiration.

6. Imagine

• Imagine the worst
  What, specifically are you fearful about?  Name it.  Say it out loud.  Then ask yourself, what is the worst thing that could happen if I take this risk?  Even if you run smack into a wall on your way to making a life change, then at least you will have gained some insight and knowledge.   You may even find this knowledge gives you the courage to tackle more risks. No matter what the scenario, you will have gained the power and influence to decide your own response.
• Imagine the best
  Imagine how your life will be different and better once you initiate change in your life.  Anticipate the joy, the excitement, and the empowerment that comes from being a leader in your own life.  Begin with small steps, but take action. There are no microwave miracles in successful life changes. It may take some time to see results. The only instant change is in attitude. You'll finally be in charge of the direction and outcome of your life.  Imagine the best, then live it!

Make a positive change in your life starting today.

Life can be really, stinkin' hard sometimes. That's why Dawson wrote the blog, "How Can I Find Hope?" It's a quick read and it may just change your life.

Susan Gillpatrick is a Licensed Professional Counselor, Certified Trauma Specialist, Certified Workplace Conflict Mediator, and Mental Health Service Provider in the state of Tennessee and a National Certified Counselor.  She is Centerstone's Crisis Management Specialist, she primarily works in the field with clients in critical incident response situations, and in Centerstone's wellness trainings and presentations.

Who are You Believing?

From the time we are born to the moment we die, the world we encounter is trying to coat our identity with their opinions. Daily, we are told something about ourselves. It may be a friend saying positive, encouraging words, a coworker belittling our ideas or personality or a random person saying something mean in a parking lot. When something is said to you as truth by another person, do you question it? Do you take a look at yourself and wonder if it's true? Do you ask a friend? A family member? Or do you pray about it? Have you looked it up in the Bible?

If you're anything like me, the answer is you probably check with God less than you do all the other options. Perhaps you didn't even realize how much your identity is under the influence of the world around you. Are we letting lies latch onto your identity?

The Battle of Beach Towels and Droplets

Think about your identity as a dry beach towel. Every day you lay on the sand and someone walks by with an eye-dropper and drops the tiniest bit of water on your towel. The mean girl at school you can't quite stand up to: one drop. Your boss who harasses you: one drop. The girl on Instagram you think you should look like: one drop. Your friend that makes hurtful jokes: one drop.

Your dad who called you fat: two drops. You cutting yourself: three drops. The person that abused you: four drops. The boy you slept with that left you: four drops.

Before you know it, your beach towel is soaking wet; it's heavy and the color is distorted. It doesn't look like yours and it's uncomfortable to lay on. The reality is we let people dump lies on our identity daily - sometimes it's something about the core of who we are, sometimes just some aspect of us - but lies all the same. We don't notice the damp beach towel underneath us until it's sopping wet.

Finding Our Identity in the Truth

We need to find our identity in the right place - who is the One who knows us best? What does God say about who we are?

• We are NEW CREATIONS (2 Cor 5:17). You are not who you used to be. His mercies are new daily (Lam 3:22-23). Don't let anyone tell you your past defines you.
• We are ARTWORK. For we are His workmanship... (Eph 2:10a) The greek word for workmanship is εργασία. This word means work' or of the works of God as Creator'. WE are HIS work; A masterful creation by a masterful Creator.
• We are FEARFULLY AND WONDERFULLY MADE (Ps 139:14). The word fearfully here means to inspire fear or awe and to be revered, honored, and respected. Treat yourself and others with honor and respect - that's how God see us!
• Our bodies are TEMPLES (1 Cor 6:19). Would you stand by and watch while people trashed the church building you meet in? Unlikely. If our bodies are are temples, then we shouldn't let ourselves or anyone mistreat our bodies, take advantage of them or disrespect any part of us.
• We are BELOVED and CHILDREN OF GOD (1 Jn 3:1-2). God is the perfect parent loving and caring for His children. You are not alone and you are loved.
• We are FREE FROM CONDEMNATION (Rom 8:1-2) through Christ - we needn't live in guilt and shame we can stand with our heads held high knowing we are loved as we are.

And there are so many more promises in the Bible to stand on. Every time the world tries to attack your identity, recognize it, deflect it with the scripture you know, and thank God for a chance to practice your faith and for the reminder that you are the child to the King.

Jenna is a volunteer and blogger for LIVEmpowered.  She is a native Nashvillian. She is a dancer, writer, and just-for-fun-photographer.  LIVEmpowered's goal is for you to know that you are LOVED, VALUED, and EMPOWERED to make choices that lead to a life of joy and purpose.

Perhaps you or a friend is self-harming or cutting. We understand how hard it can be to confront a problem like this. It's like hiding a monster in your closet where you're afraid to let it out, but in a weird way, you like having him there.

Kimberly Navarro, licensed therapist (LMFT), provides these insights about cutting:

It can feel good to have a release from all you're holding in. Cutting can create a space for you to free the pain, frustration and fears without anyone knowing what is going on inside. Self-harm can momentarily quiet the really deep pain, too. Cutting can be a way to deal with whatever life throws at you. The thing is, there are some good and some harmful ways to deal, and cutting is a harmful one: It is destructive to your body, leads to shame and can even become an addiction. There are chemicals that get released when our bodies get hurt, and they have a calming effect. This can create a high' when cutting, and so the chase begins: pursuing that feeling even though it never is quite as good as the first experience. There are times when you won't have the words for your feelings/pain, but cutting is never the answer. You must find other ways that are not destructive.

Here are a few signs you might notice that one of your friends or family members is struggling with self-harm:

• One of the most obvious signs is wearing a hoodie or long-sleeve shirt all the time, even when it's scorching hot outside.
• Another sign can be wearing lots of wristbands.
• Cutting also goes hand in hand with emotional problems in general. So just notice their obvious mood changes, ask how they are doing and have real discussions don't just keep it shallow.

It's important to know:

• Deep inside, many self-harmers want to be discovered. They often cut in obvious places hoping to get noticed. But they are torn because they are afraid of being shamed or potentially getting sent to a psych ward.
• Most have friends who know but are sworn to secrecy, or have friends who struggle, too. The people who self-harm in complete secrecy and who cut in hidden places that would never have a chance for discovery typically are in more serious emotional distress.
• As a friend, it's important to follow your gut. If you think someone is in trouble, and they won't talk to you about it, then they probably are; if they're not 'being themselves,' then they may need help.

Related Posts:
A Door of Hope
Why Do People Self-Harm?
Real Story: Artist Michaela Hatfield
How To Quit Cutting

We strongly believe that one cannot be free of the harmful effects of society without accountability and a strong reliance on God. You or your friend won't be cured of cutting until you address what's hurting inside, and that will likely require the help of a professional who has a relationship with Jesus Christ and experience with people in similar situations to yours. You or your friend will need interventions before you're free of this demon, be that from MyBrokenPalace.com, a local crisis center, a trusted therapist or a counselor. Whatever your choice, please do something now!

This guest post on self-harm is written by Jes Balascio of My Broken Palace for Project Inspired. 

Door of Hope Can Help You

Self-injury, also known as cutting is a deliberate injuring of the body which is usually done in secret and NOT for attention. It is often a cry for help. However, self-injury is a temporary fix to a deep-rooted problem. Cutting brings release when dealing with overwhelming emotions. A destructive cycle of cutting yourself, followed by guilt and shame, becomes a cycle of addiction. Door of Hope offers a phone line and real help.

You are not what your scars reveal, you are worth much more!

A common reason for self-injury is to get relief from overwhelming emotions. Cutting is like a "silent scream" often trying to release feelings you cannot express with words. Emptiness, low self-esteem, fear, depression and anger are emotions you might be able to identify with. Research indicates a connection of self-injurious behavior with a history of trauma or abuse. This may include but not limited to sexual, physical, verbal abuse.

How can I get help?

Door of Hope is a safe place where you can begin your journey towards freedom.  You are not alone in your struggle. They help people all over the world. Recovery is a process and they can help you discover the person that you were meant to become. You can begin to move past your scars and start living a "new life."

Their trained crisis care advocates will listen to your story and not judge you. They offer encouragement, resources and prayer as they help you learn new coping skills that are a healthy release and point you in the direction on the path that God has intended.
The team at Door of Hope believes that faith in God can begin to repair the damaged areas in your life. He will give you the strength to recover. Never lose hope...

It's ok...you don't have to be religious to contact them. God is not mad at you! He wants you to be free from your emotional pain and know that you are not what your scars represent.

If you're reading this, deep down you do want to stop cutting. Take a step towards your recovery and contact Door of Hope today. If you are 13 or over then contact them, they would love to chat with you. All conversations are kept confidential.

TEXT or CALL:

• 914 393.1904 or 803.570.2061
• Sunday, Tuesday & Thursday 8:30 – 10 PM (est)

EMAIL: [email protected]

Debra Cornacchia, founder of Door of Hope 4 Teens shares from her heart:

"My message to teens and young adults is that secrets grow in the dark. The light of Christ will bring truth and healing for your present and future. As a teen, I struggled with depression, low self-esteem and self-injury. I had feelings of shame, guilt and anger and cutting provided a "quick fix" and became my best friend. I fell into a trap of the secret addiction of self-injury and believing in dark lies about myself and my future. Recovery is a process of change. I can celebrate that I have overcome self-injury and live a life of complete restoration. Now my life's work is to encourage and guide youth in their recovery. Let us help you realize that God will open the doors of hope and you can walk in the grace and freedom of self-harm. What he has done for me, he can do for you!"

"For I know the plans I have for you says the Lord, plans of good and not of evil, plans to give you HOPE and a future."  -Jeremiah 29:11

You can also download TheHopeLine's free eBook, Understanding Self-Harm and Cutting.

Are you your biggest fan or biggest critic?

Words can make you smile, laugh, cry, and scream. They have changed lives and will continue to do so forever. Words can build up and tear down relationships.

Words have power.

So what about the words in our minds: our thoughts. They have a lot of power too. Words come from our thoughts which come from our hearts. Our thoughts affect our whole lives. How are your thoughts affecting your life? Are you your biggest fan or your biggest critic? What are the things that go through your mind on a daily basis about yourself? How positive are the thoughts you have about yourself?

Here's a crazy truth for you: not all of your thoughts are true.

If you were to think I am the president of the United States, doesn't mean it is true. Just the same, thinking that you are unworthy of being loved does not mean that you actually are unworthy of love. For most of us, the negative self-talk continually creeping through our brains is a lie. Sometimes lies come into our thoughts and take hold until we eventually forget reality. These messages can take root for so long. They can affect our self-esteem and the way we live our lives. It may be the words of others spoken over us, messages from the society around us, or even ourselves.

One example is a sentence that was said to me in a past relationship. I wish you were taller and tanner and had bigger boobs. One, that is not a nice thing to say to anyone...ever. Two, these are all qualities about me that I cannot change. This translated into my brain as, I'm not good enough or attractive enough and I never will be.

I know this is a crazy jump, but I don't think I'm the only one who has made those leaps. I embraced it as truth, and it affected the way that I saw myself. It was a throw-away sentence on their behalf, but it shook my confidence in the relationship and other areas of my life. With this "I'm not good enough idea" floating through my head, it was easy to see the things that validated that thought and to disregard all the good things about myself.

So how do we change the patterns of negative thinking?

I have been learning to sift through my thoughts and really evaluate where they are all coming from. One of the most freeing things I have done is to break off the lies that have taken hold and replace them with the truth about who I am. When I think about where some of these ideas in my head have come from, it seems crazy that I ever let them come into my brain at all. There are a lot of really awesome things about me! There are also a lot of really great people that love and support me. These are the things I want to focus on instead of the things that have been said by the people who have hurt me.

My hope for you is that you can distinguish truth from the lies.

If there are any lies that you have turned into truth, I hope you will dig deep and cut them out. It might hurt a little to talk about them and deal with them but you will be able to move forward. Replace the lies and see the truth.
Write out some positive true words about you to help replace any lies you have believed.

Write them on your mirror, put them on sticky notes around your house, and build others up with them because the world needs some more encouragement.

Now go out and live your life with these running through your brain and I bet some things will start to change for the better.

Brigid is a Texas girl living in Nashville, TN, who loves laughing, Instagram, nachos and adventure. She is a volunteer and blogger. LIVEmpowered’s goal is for you to know that you are LOVED, VALUED, and EMPOWERED to make choices that lead to a life of joy and purpose. 

Ashley Rawls shares her story with I AM SECOND, a movement to inspire the revolution of Second.

Ashley Rawls carried the weight of the world on her shoulders. She came from a strict home in which the expectations for success were extremely high. Every year, she and her family watched beauty pageants in the hopes that one day Ashley would be the winner on that stage. This pressure to become the beauty queen led Ashley to control her eating, which developed into anorexia. While they watched their perfect beauty queen light up the stage, they didn't know Ashley was hiding a secret that was tormenting her soul.

I didn't know how to be normal. I didn't know how to have a normal relationship with food.

How do you let go of control without losing control? Ashley says her dilemma was never about image; it was about control—the control of having a normal life. Stability. Balance. It was about security. Ashley thought that if she could control her weight and what she was eating, then she would be happy. But the more she tried to control her eating, the more the eating disorder controlled her.

Is there hope for letting go without losing control? She eventually found peace and freedom when she gave up and handed her eating disorder over to God. She had to learn to trust that He could take care of something that had become too big for her, and that He loved her enough to be willing to help.

I've found, in my life, that the more I try to control something the worse I feel. But when I call out to God and ask Him to take my burdens from me, I feel a sense of relief and hope.

"The funny thing about giving up control is that I never really had control in the first place. My life has always been in God's hands, and all I was doing was getting in the way of what He was trying to do in me and through me." Watch as Ashley shares her story in her own words.

I AM SECOND is a movement meant to inspire people of all kinds to live for God and for others. Actors. Athletes. Musicians. Business leaders. Drug addicts. Your next-door neighbor. People like you. The authentic stories on iamsecond.com provide insight into dealing with typical struggles of everyday living. These are stories that give hope to the lonely and the hurting, help from destructive lifestyles, and inspiration to the unfulfilled. You'll discover people who've tried to go it alone and have failed. Find the hope, peace, and fulfillment they found. Be Second.

I AM SECOND encourages you to go a step further, talk with the people in your life. Spread the revolution of Second. Share the videos with friends. Gather a group of friends to discuss the films. Start an I AM SECOND group.

If you would like more information on eating disorders, please download our free eBook.